You've been such a good friend, comforting me when I feel down. You've suggested things that improved my life. And when I've been far, far away you've brought me joy via my computer screen. Alas, as with all good things, complacency has become woven into your manner and is now expressed as indifference with a lack of dependability.
First it was small things, forgetfulness and lack of attention, I supposed, and being tardy with your promised expectations. Then it grew to rerouted promises and missed delivery dates. And now the Kiss of Death, the lack of honest communication.
For four days now you've been promising a package was shipped, but a few moments ago I received a message from your good friend and ally, USPS , stating you had just now informed them of your INTENTION to ship a package to me.
And now...not even acknowledging simple emails.
These hidden mysteries are less than I deserve and more than I care to endure.
Yes, Amazon, it was nice while it lasted, but I only care to associate you with fond memories of mirth, anticipation and joy. I will no longer facilitate your self-destruction.
I want to not only thank you for the wonderful interaction, but also for allowing me to fully understand my lack of need for e-commerce and embrace my sincere need for brick-and-mortar.
Sincerely with many oh-so-sweet memories,