No, I haven't been listening to too much Bleu Edmondson lately, but I have recently had the opportunity to witness two people, close to me, approaching the threshold of death. It's a blessing and a burden.
A blessing for many reasons, the most important to me is being able to watch the process with an attempt to bring comfort, pleasure and happiness...and to truly get to know them.
A burden though, it is, watching them struggle with simple day-to-day tasks...the frustration, pain, disappointment and often confusion.
I've said to my immediate family and a close friend or two that I couldn't bear to live that way. Just "knock me in the head" or "shoot me".
But I've given that request some deeper thought and tempered it with a bit of modification, including my last meal request.
So let the record show...
First of all, here's how to tell when the moment is upon us:
I've developed a simple equation. When my "joy for living" < "degree of burden on others" = the teeter-tot has tip toward "my time to go". If I'm not able to do the simple math, please, someone, help me out (guilt-free, of course). But don't just knock me in the head or shoot me (pain potential with a bad outcome is too risky), instead how about a handful of pain pills, bottle of ice cold vodka and 24 hours of privacy.
Of course, following my last meal, which is...
Vodka Tonic w/lime - Tito's, please
Spider (softshell crab) roll
Bottle of Dom Perignon
Rockshrimp Risotto cakes, cilantro cream sauce and ancho aioli
Glass of Kendall-Jackson Reserve Chardonney
Small plate of BBQ pork ribs, a fried chicken thigh, mom's potato salad and baked beans
Ice-cold Shiner Bock beer
Chicken fried rib eye, jalapeno cream gravy (heavy on the black pepper), roasted garlic mashed potatoes, breaded okra/squash and yeast roll with butter
Another ice-cold Shiner Bock
An assortment of Swedish chocolates handmade by Swedish triathlete Lisa Norden; a selection of dessert tapas handmade by Brazilian volleyballer Maria Clara-Carol
Another bottle of Dom Perignon
Lisa and Maria
Fifth of ice cold Tito's Vodka and a handful of Demerol
Almost makes one look forward to jogging the victory lap to the other side...