Master Cleanse - Finale

Over, done, finito, chapter closed...

And here are the final box scores:

Lemons - 42 large
Honey - 3#
Gallons of spring water – 16
Herbal laxative tea bags – 10
Salt water 2.5 gallons
Headaches – 45 seconds
White tongue – 8 days
Weight – -2 lbs
Stomach cramps – 10 minutes
Cravings – none
Energy boost – gianormous
Concentration level – focused+
Affect on exercise – positive++
Willingness to do again – ubetcha


What I learned/what I’ll do different:

Plan the SWF around your day
Plan the fast to start on a Sunday night
Break the fast with an evening broth
Avoid food advertisements
Restricting the calories to 700/day next time
Next time slightly increase the cayenne

Day 8 - I'm Sooooooo Bored

How bored am I?

I’m so bored with this fast I didn’t even blog yesterday. I took the day off from exercise too. I broke my string at eight days straight. Here’s hoping I can wrap this thing up on Friday and start easing back into food on Saturday. Chicken broth for breakfast, chicken salad for supper.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hungry or starved. I’m not craving. I just need a change. The lemonade is wonderful, so wonderful I’ll be keeping a jug on hand for everyday drinking. But even herbal tea taste like a 3 star meal after drinking lemonade all day long.

Breakfast = lemonade

Lunch = lemonade

Dinner = lemonade

Snacks = lemonade

I’ve started putting twice the amount of cayenne just to spice things up. (rimshot)

But what I need is something that can tumble with my tongue, massage with my molars, bite with my bicuspids, I need to chew, crunch and swallow. I need crispy, smooth, warm, salty and sweet…and….yes, even bitter. I miss bitter. I want umami. I want smell…something that smells like ocean. I want to smell a sauté of garlic, onion, celery and carrots…or chicken, a baked potato and bread. Even the smell of a simple Frito would be magical.

In 3 hours it’ll be 9 days since I’ve had my last solid food. I just hope this thing is over with in two more days.

Day 6 - Does 7 Days Without Food Make One Weak?

Apparently not. I had a demanding yoga session this morning and this evening I ran 3 miles in 24:04. I can't remember the last time I put 3-8s together.

Thoughts for the day:

• SWF = ROYGBIV = TMI, if you don't know what that means, don't ask, but it's working.
• I am sorta missing solid food. Especially a full-on bacon cheeseburger with crispy Cheetoes and a big glass of zin.
• A simple cheese pizza would also be tasty.
• I really don't have any hunger pangs I just miss chewing and swallowing.
• I couldn't get to sleep last night until after 2am, not that I was restless, just didn't want to sleep.
• I woke at my regular time despite the time change.
  

Day 5 - Halfway Home (I hope)

What an awesome day! Started out for a 5-miler this morning and it was so nice I stretched it to 7. Not a thought about food today until I read this recap of Savor Dallas.

Now I want pizza with a mid-priced Zin, but I'd settle for a burger, beer and cheese fries.

Not a problem today, not a cramp last night, not a craving one.

Day 4 – Arms “Rocky” High

What an awesome run! This was my 7th day in a row to run 3-5 miles. Admittedly my past few runs have left me feeling “heavy legged”, but today I felt very light on my feet. Scary light.

Backstory review:
The last five runs have been done on “The Fast”. As a general rule I only run two days in a row followed by a recovery day, but I decided to try to run and yoga everyday in an attempt to keep my metabolism near normal. (Probably a futile idea).

I’ve been trying to monitor my caloric intake closely to insure I’m getting enough energy in. Each gallon of my special lemonade has about 1000 calories and a gallon is about the total amount I’m drinking each day. Since my caloric requirements each day is just over 2000 not counting any physical activity and I can generally figure about 100 calories expenditure per mile ran/walked, I’ll need 2500 each day not including that expended during yoga.

1500+ daily caloric deficit. I know. But I feel good, sleep good and have no crazy hunger needs, so I’m still All-In.

Mise en Place (3-7-09)

1. Is DFW the new LA? (Alternate Title) Is LA about to catch-up with DFW? According to the Orange Country Register the new big group-ex class is ¡ZUMBA! Haven’t Zumba classes been popular in DFW for years? Come on SOCO, you’re a step behind the beat. 5-6-7-8….

2. Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot Department: Does it even make since when doing a story about nutrition and health to only show “trigger’ foods? However they do look good enough to make me consider stopping this wacko stunt.

3. And finally, a nod of respect to those women over 50 who have been running for 20+ years, hats off gents.

To All The Girls I've Loved Before

Boy, do I have egg on my face, but I finally…finally get it. All those times, usually monthly, I scoffed at your need to stay in bed with a heating pad and pint of Haagen-Dazs, for that I’m sorry, I apologize.

I’m also sorry for my callus suggestions to “spit on it and rub it” or “walk it off”. Not to lay blame, but it's a holdover from Little League.

My epiphany was fashioned by the five or so minutes I’ve spent the past two nights with unbearably painful stomach cramps. The first night I actually broke out in a cold sweat. Last night I just wanted to roll up in a ball and cry. Total time = about 10 minutes.

I want to thank each of you for your patience and having taken part in my belated attempt to become an ‘official” metrosexual.

Sincerely,

Brent

PS. Please forgive me for posting this note of apology/thanks on my blog instead of sending an individual, handwritten note. Those of you not living out of the country or in the witness protection program have failed to leave a forwarding address.

Day 3 - Thumbs Up!

If you set aside the brief awaking at 4:00am with about 10 minutes of stomach cramps and the cold, beaded sweat on my forehead, all's well.

Still no REAL cravings although my eyes wondered as I drove past a BBQ joint, and while moseying down the grocery aisle (purchasing lemons and spring water only) I did find myself lingering in the produce section. A wrong turn down the chip aisle was a bad move, but I cowboyed-up and focused on finding the jugs of water. Giddy-up.

Other quick, but fleeting thoughts:
Grilled asparagus sounds bueno. Bonus taste bud cartwheels if it's slathered in roasted garlic cream cheese and wrapped in prosciutto before grilling.
Pasta with grilled shrimp and blackened scallops
One of those thin crust pizzas with mozz, fresh tomatoes, basil and drizzled in XVOO
A street taco with fresh pico and quac

Day 2 - Where are the Cravings?

Counting the pre-fast on Monday it's my third day without food. I should be ready to eat carpet by now, but I'm not really hungry. Oh, I think about food, but nothing focused enough to call even a slight craving. This is a concern. According to the diaries I've read there's something especially difficult getting past the third day. So far, knock wood, this hasn't been much of a challenge.

Come on MC, bring on the willpower breaker(s)!

Heck, the worst thing about this is the saltwater in the morning and I've got that down to 33 gulps/quart.

What Happened to Adventure Racing?

If I recall correctly, several years ago Adventure Racing was on the verge of breaking into the mainstream. What’s not to love about an event (sometimes multi-day) that includes mountain biking, cross country running, kayaking, zip-lines, repelling and a double-top-secret challenge? But what happened?

I know it’s not spectator-friendly, but I’m not sure that’s a big motivator for participants of a multi-sport event.

I smell an adventure race in my future…

Day 1 - So Far, So Good

Yesterday was a pre-fast and only spring water intake (1 gallon). No coffee. Pictures of food were looking good by mid-afternoon, especially that Popeye's billboard. Paragraphs about food were looking good by evening. Herbal tea has never been so tasty.

This morning was my first saltwater flush. Now I know why it's called a saltwater flush. Salty water and...errr...well, self-explanatory.

The lemonade is awesome, here's the recipe: 2 oz freshly squeezed organic lemon juice, 2 oz organic honey*, 10 oz spring water, 1/10 tsp cayenne.

Food isn't on my mind...much.

*the original recipe called for organic grade "B" maple syrup

Countdown

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, .....

5 Things I Can't Do Without in a Kitchen - GLOBS

When I work with a new person in a kitchen I always work in the "ice-breaker" question "what are the 5 things you can't cook without". Hardware (knives, pots, pans, etc., not included).

Here's mine...
G - garlic
L - lemon juice
O - onion
B - butter
S - salt

Antecedent Thinking - Wacko Diet and a Marathon

Looking over the edge.

The Greatest Nike Commercial Yet

Dear Tiger,

Welcome back!



From a fan, not a competitor,
Brent

Deskunking the Dog

Conventional Wisdom says a dog only needs to be the recipient of skunk venom once for a lifelong impression. Rosco doesn't appreciate CW. Yet.

However, when the skunk spray is a direct hit mayhem ensues. Such as, wallowing in the dirt including the tongue and mouthfuls of dirt , eyes watering, awful whines and that's not even imagining the toil on the ultra-sensitive olfactory nerves.

I suppose Rosco doesn't like it much either.

But I, on the other hand, have found the perfect anti-venom to the dastardly odoriferous spray of the polecat.

In a plastic bucket mix 32 oz of hydrogen peroxide with 1/4 cup of baking soda and a tablespoon of mild liquid dishwashing detergent and a splash or two of water. Soak sprayed pooch with water. Cover said pooch with the peroxide mixture and lather. Let set for about 5 minutes. Rinse thoroughly. Repeat if necessary. Repetition is highly unlikely. This works great! Make an effort to avoid the eyes, but remember, the spray is usually a direct hit on the face so wash accordingly.

The Economy's Affect on Students

It seems that everyone is being hit, directly or indirectly, by the economy. And just when one becomes numb to job and home loss, up pops another segment once thought untouchable, higher education students and specifically student athletes. Here's a take from NPR's All Things Considered on budget cuts to athletic programs.

Fine Arts programs everywhere should take this as a shot fired over the bow.