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Track and Field World Championships: Rants and Raves

While finally catching-up on my recorded TV (have I mentioned I love sports in HD?) I finished the Track & Field World Championships from Berlin. For the first time in my life, I gotta say I'm not impressed with the USA's team. NOTE: I use "team" loosely.

I first fell in love with running when I accidentally watched the Steeple Chase in my younger years, it's still my favorite event, albeit shown only at 3am on some god forsaken obscure cable channel.

This, of course, make me an authority and creditable source for commentary. So...uggh...let me....grunt...(stretch)...get...mmmmy...soapbox...out. Whewww! DAY-UM, it's dusty...cough.

OKAY, here we go!

I watched 6-4x100m relay heats including the finals, perhaps a total of 36 teams. Two teams were DQed...both of the talent rich USA teams. The best teams money can buy...and they couldn't pass the batons. (Please understand I've never ran the 4x100, but I distinctly remember relay runners learning the pass-the-baton skill in junior high, later perfecting it in high school.) These athletes are, for all practical purposes, professionals...IN THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS...and they couldn't pass the freakin' baton!

What's. The. Problem.

I'll tell you what the problem is. It's sponsorship. It's high profile coaches. It's managers. It's agents. It's TV. It's endorsements. It's D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N.

These problems go back almost a decade. Team USA relay teams have had no philosophy, or even goal, of cohesiveness. Check the records, they almost always win the gold or they post a DNF, mostly DNF. Could it be because every athlete has their own personal coach, trainer, agent, doctor and manager. Perhaps no time for that darn skills practicing. One only has to listen to a few "team" interviews to read between the selfish lines. Here are a few examples:

• In response to the question "Is this (dropping the baton) frustrating?" Carmelita Jeter replies, "No, it's not frustrating. We're a team of four." Analysis: If, in the finals of the world championships, you drop the baton and you're not frustrated, you're not, and never will be a champion. A team of four? Ummm, last I heard there were also alternates on your team, Carmelita. And BTW...a real champ accepts responsibility, due or not.
  
• In the same interview teammate Lauryn Williams says, "We'll live to die another day." Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot? You're planning on doing this again?
• Williams also states, "This team has good Karma with each other and we have good chemistry. We train together (duh) and we ride every where together." I'm still scratching my head.
• The men's representative, Davis Patton (who didn't "technically" drop the baton, but was guilty of passing out of the zone...an even more rookie mistake) responded to the question Where do you go from here? by saying, "We'll move on and try to do our best." Hmmmm, isn't that like a professional basketball player saying, "We're going to try to get to the playoffs."?

Whatever happened to the leaders saying "I guarantee it!" (Tony Romo, I'm looking at you.)

From the get-go I've been a big supporter for these "amateur" athletes to be able to make a comfortable living and still be full-time athletes - not having to have a part-time job to make ends meet and also be furnished a future after athletics. However, in this case we've certainly allowed a veer in an unproductive direction. Perhaps a closer look at Terrence Mahon's total immersion distance running Mammoth Track Club would be beneficial for Team USA relays.

Otherwise, and you can mark my words, if the 2016 Olympics is awarded to Chicago we should anticipate a few embarrassing situations.

And one more thing...Team USA coaches - please get these athletes a little assistance/training on how to be an interviewee.

Enough about relays, now for the for the fun stuff and event musings...

• New girl crush = Jen Rhines
• When I first glimpsed at Jamaica's unis I thought, "HEY!, why is John Deere sponsoring them?"
  

Was I wrong or is it just the country-boy in me? You decide.

• Is Mammoth Lake, CA the new Eugene, OR?
• Is it sexist of me to giggle when I see the Brazilian women's team with BRA across their chest? Yeah, I'm about thirteen-years-old.
• Oops, another girl crush.
• I love multi-loop marathon courses, they're so spectator friendly...and motivating.
• Instead of the marathon having water stops, Berlin had "refreshment" stations.
  
• Why are the Kenyans and Ethiopians so smooth?
• How did the Jamaicans get so fast?
• When did the Germans become so humble?
• What causes the US relay teams to be so arrogant?
• Nothing, I mean nothing, is more attractive than a female runner.
  
• Sexy
• Flexy
• When describing the race pace, if an announcer says, "Slow is an understatement." Shouldn't that mean it's a fast pace?
• The men's 5000m finals was exciting and rough. Reminds me of NASCAR and swappin' paint. (swappin' sweat?) Not to mention the bloody shins from spike marks.
  
• The women's 1500m made the men's 5000 look like infants in a sandbox. Girls can be mean. When the leader was pushed to the ground I was thinking roller derby.
  
• They're in Germany, but the commands are in English...with a German accent. Commands in German would sound so much more appropriate and official. Zerkratzen! Stellen! Gehen!
  

Knowing how us Yanks like to keep score, the first place US wins 10 gold medals while Jamaica runs a close second with 7 golds. Itty-bitty Jamaica?

Aside...NBC did a great job showing off Berlin. It's such a beautiful city, rich in history, and the camera work was fantastic. I now love Berlin in HD.

Wacky Things to Do With a Heart Rate Monitor

Hmmm...boredom do ya think? How about wearing a HR monitor while sleeping?

Click to enlarge

Easily discernible is the sleep phase of REM. A few facts of physiology:

1. REM occupies 20-25% of a nights sleep
2. HR is irregular
3. REM phases start out brief at the beginning of the night and are longer toward the end
4. Usually 4 or 5 periods of REM each night

Given these fact and applied to the above graphic, I think we'll all conclude I'm a normal.

Yeah, whateve...

Jerryworld - First Look

Have I mentioned I love sports in HD? And is 1080p really any better than 720p? I can't imagine it being. A few musings from Cowboyland and the finest sports stadium in the known universe.

• First possession of the game is a 12 minute drive culminating in a touchdown for the Cowboys. I like it.
• Joe Buck needs to learn the difference between a end around and a reverse. IJS
• Marion Barber could start for any NFL team. Felix Jones, I'm not so sure.
  
• Cowboys to watch...Austin Miles, Sam Hurd.
• I hope Tony Romo is better than I think.
• Quote of the game #1 - "Jerry Jones is the P. Diddy of the NFL."
• The Cowboys defense worries me. On the upside, the backups are as good as the starters.
• I must disagree with Troy Aikman...Vince Young isn't very good. Yeah, I said that.
• On the flip side, if anything happens to Romo, the Cowboys are in deep trouble, too. Kitna isn't very good either.
• What rocket surgeon determined 90 feet was high enough for a video screen. FIY...that's the distance from homeplate to 1st base.
• Quote of the game #2 - Head Ref: "False start, everybody but the center." Aikman's retort: "He's givin'em the business."

All in all, impressive play by the Cowboys. The Titans looked better last week. I'll stick with my prediction of 9-7 season, 3rd in the division, for the Cowboys

Thinking About Death and My Last Meal

No, I haven't been listening to too much Bleu Edmondson lately, but I have recently had the opportunity to witness two people, close to me, approaching the threshold of death. It's a blessing and a burden.

A blessing for many reasons, the most important to me is being able to watch the process with an attempt to bring comfort, pleasure and happiness...and to truly get to know them.

A burden though, it is, watching them struggle with simple day-to-day tasks...the frustration, pain, disappointment and often confusion.

I've said to my immediate family and a close friend or two that I couldn't bear to live that way. Just "knock me in the head" or "shoot me".

But I've given that request some deeper thought and tempered it with a bit of modification, including my last meal request.

So let the record show...

First of all, here's how to tell when the moment is upon us:

I've developed a simple equation. When my "joy for living" < "degree of burden on others" = the teeter-tot has tip toward "my time to go". If I'm not able to do the simple math, please, someone, help me out (guilt-free, of course). But don't just knock me in the head or shoot me (pain potential with a bad outcome is too risky), instead how about a handful of pain pills, bottle of ice cold vodka and 24 hours of privacy.

Of course, following my last meal, which is...

Aperitif:
Vodka Tonic w/lime - Tito's, please

Amuse Bouche:
Chocolate Bacon

Appetizer:
Spider (softshell crab) roll
Bottle of Dom Perignon

1st Course:
Rockshrimp Risotto cakes, cilantro cream sauce and ancho aioli
Glass of Kendall-Jackson Reserve Chardonney

2nd Course:
Small plate of BBQ pork ribs, a fried chicken thigh, mom's potato salad and baked beans
Ice-cold Shiner Bock beer

1st Intermezzo:
Lime Sherbet

3rd Course:
Chicken fried rib eye, jalapeno cream gravy (heavy on the black pepper), roasted garlic mashed potatoes, breaded okra/squash and yeast roll with butter
Another ice-cold Shiner Bock

2nd Intermezzo
Orange Sherbet

Dessert:
An assortment of Swedish chocolates handmade by Swedish triathlete Lisa Norden; a selection of dessert tapas handmade by Brazilian volleyballer Maria Clara-Carol
Another bottle of Dom Perignon

Digestifs:
Lisa and Maria

Finale'
Fifth of ice cold Tito's Vodka and a handful of Demerol

Almost makes one look forward to jogging the victory lap to the other side...

Why David Feherty is My Favorite Golf Analyst

Besides having the best job in the world and an accent that melts most women, the dude has a way with words. And he pulls no punches...even when talking about Tiger.

Examples of my favorite Fehertyism from the PGA Championship.

• "The wind has vanished." Eh, hmm...Dave, the wind is invisible. IJS
• "He decided to go with the chicken stick." -on Tiger electing to use an iron off the tee to a narrow fairway.
• "It's not often you see a player of this caliber hit four incredibly rotten shots in a row." -on Vijay Singh's 6th hole (Saturday) performance that initiated an ugly meltdown lasting into Sunday's round.

And my personal favorite:

• "I've given up not thinking he can't get there, so yeah, he might get there." (aside: What the what?) -on Tiger hitting a big hook trying to reach the green from the deep rough 189 yards away. (Outcome: he got there.)
  

Mise en Place (9-18-09) - Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot

1. This guy was getting some kind of drunk. But I still don't get how the vic can hit the front windshield, go over the roof and smash through the rear window, and land in the backseat. Either I missed that part of physics class (highly likely) or there could be something else to the story.

2. Just because you drive a Bentley doesn't mean you have class. But the vic's husband/passenger just sits around and watches his wife get beat-up by two guys because one SAID he had a gun. Either chivalry is really dead (highly unlikely) or again, I think there must be something else to the story.

3. And if the above bad guys aren't bad enough, apparently it just getting harder to ID the real bad guys. This is bad, real bad...nefarious infiltration, I'd say. But come on, a police officer's badge getting stolen, or an assault rifle with 15 clips of ammo, or body armor? I think this one's going to be developing, too.

You can now resume your life, but listen-up. Ya'll be careful out there.

Roasted Potatoes and Honey Mustard Recipes - don't mix together

Because of popular request, okay one request. This is for you Dana.

Oven Roasted New Potatoes

Enough small (about the size of a golf ball) red potatoes for 2 servings, scrubbed

1 tbsp canola or olive oil (not xv)

Seasoning mix:

2 tbsp paprika

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

2 tsp kosher

1 tsp fresh ground black pepper

1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp dried thyme

¼ tsp cayenne

Rub thyme and oregano between thumb and fingers to pulverize, mix in all the other ingredients.

Preheat oven to 350; cut potatoes in quarters; in a large mixing bowl toss potatoes with oil; season with mix, aggressively; spread on cookie sheet to one layer thick.

Roast in oven about 30 minutes or until outside is slightly crispy and inside is cooked through. Season with S&P if needed.

Better than You Can Buy and Simply Fantastic Honey-Mustard Sauce

6 fl oz mayo – homemade is best, but Hellman’s works fine (don’t use anything else)

4 fl oz whole grain mustard (Dijon or yellow will due) – whole grain taste and looks best

2 fl oz honey (the cheap stuff in a bear is fine) you may adjust quantity to satisfy your sweet tooth

1 tbsp crisp white wine

Combine all and whisk well. Refrigerate in an airtight jar and it will keep until you eat it all…usually a few days for me.

Makes 12.5 fl oz…duh

Being Flexitarian - Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Chicken

Sometimes (okay, more often than not) I amaze myself. Either I'm incredibly gifted or dumbed down dense...take your pick.

Since the first week of June I've been mostly pescetarian with an occasional "meat" day, usually once a week. Label me flexitarian. And, by the way,pescetarianism isn't especially difficult, it's a nutritional sweet-spot I can highly recommend.

My meat days have usually embraced my favorite, the hamburger, but lately the burger's become boring, disappointing, and frankly I'm afraid I just don't like'em anymore. So sad, but I guess it's better to have a pleasant memory than a wicked realization. Sigh...I miss you pleasant memory, you know who you are.

Back on point...

So I venture out of my comfort zone. And into the wild of chicken thighs, because I'm a leg and thigh guy, breasts just don't do it for me. Besides, breasts are sooooo 1980's. With that thought in mind I created, possibly, the greatest chicken dish of ever and ever...the bacon wrapped stuffed chicken thigh. Here are the deets to serve two hungry runners:

The grub:
6 thin, cheap slices of bacon
1 chicken thigh, de-boned and skinless
1/2 C chopped mushrooms of your choice
1 tbsp xvoo
1 small clove garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced red onion
1 tbsp fine dice red bell pepper
1 tbsp white cheddar cheese, grated or small cubed
1 tbsp of your favorite BBQ sauce, I use this
1 tbsp of your favorite honey-mustard dressing

The skills:
1. Over medium heat slow saute the mushrooms, onion and RBP in the xvoo until well caramelized, add the garlic and cook until you can smell the garlic, usually about 3 more minutes. Add the BBQ sauce and remove from heat. Mix in the cheese, taste and adjust seasoning. You just made the stuffing.

2. Pound or butterfly the chicken thigh as thin as possible without tearing. Dust with fresh ground pepper.

3. Make a lattice work with the strips of bacon like this:

4. Spoon on the stuffing like this:

5. Place chicken on bacon, wrap and place on roasting pan with lattice side up.

6. Roast in 350 degree oven to internal temp of 165 or about 50 minutes.

7. Rest 10 minutes under foil. Slice on diagonal bias, drizzle with honey mustard, serve with oven roasted new potatoes, crusty bread and a side salad.

It's Football Season, WooHoo!!

Last night's NFL Hall of Fame Game marks the starting of the 2009-10 football season. Normally I'm not a big fan of pre-season games, but for some reason I'm really excited about this season. With that in mind here are a few thoughts spurred from last night's game.

• If the first series fake punt, fake reverse and bootleg for a touchdown is any indication, this season is going to be spectacular.
• Is it just my eyes going bad or did the referees orange stripped shirts look to have a pink tint from a distance? Even in HD. I respect history as much as the next guy, but, NFL, not every thing in the past is a good idea. I consider the orange stripped shirts a bad idea.
• Speaking of refs...the head ref had all the excitement of a mortician.
• The NBC production crew was spot-on; the broadcast booth had some cobwebs.
• I've loved John Madden ever since he coached Oakland. Loved him even more as a color commentator, he revolutionized the booth. But for some reason I don't think I'll miss him much this season. Good luck in retirement, John.
• TO = 2fer2
• This will be Vince Young's pivotal season. It's now or never, baby.
• Replays on NBC are being called "NBCeeIT". Lame. Must have been a rush job from a summer intern. Bet it doesn't last through September, but maybe they can sell it, on a discount, to ABC for the winter Olympics.
  
• Full disclosure - I'm a huge Cowboys fan. My season's prediction for Dallas = 9-7, 3rd in the Eastern Division.
  

Mise en Place - 8-6-09 - Sinner's Edition

1. Telling your prison colleagues you're doing life for the hate crime of beating up the Ice Cream Man won't bode well for you or your two white-trash friends. The devil has to be especially proud of your section in hell. When I read about the victim's attitude, I immediate committed a deadly sin...envy. Thanks, Mr. Victor McDonald, we should all have such kindness. PS...I love ice cream.

2. I quit smoking 29 years ago, to the day. (Okay, I made up the "to the day" part). And luckily I have no desire to smoke again, but if I did I'd probably be smoking an eCigarette. Who thinks up this kind of deadly stuff? Guilty of another sin...wrath. Two more generations and we'll eradicate this scourge to society, just need a bit of patience.

3. What is it about the heat? I can't turn around without hearing someone complain (news flash people-it's August). Yet the minute it hits triple digits I feel an overwhelming desire to strip down to the bare necessities, grab my running shoes and bang-out 8k or so. Hummm...the most serious sin...pride. I really do have a pocket full of humility, it's just in my other britches.

Excuse me while I meditate with this old friend.

Being Flexitarian - Losing My Meer-ginity

I must be one of the few people who have never had a Meersburger. This I feel certain of because yesterday at 1:30pm half of the world was in line to be seated in this goldmine themed, one-off restaurant where they serve burgers on tin goldminer pans (question: are tinpans "food safe"?). Heck, even Bon Appetit magazine (one of my personal favs) has ranked them as having the 3rd best hamburger in the USA.

The line for a table serpentined, in an ad hoc and disorderly fashion, through the large waiting area crisscrossing itself at least twice,stretching down the steps, out the door and ending on the sidewalk two shops away. Reportedly it was TWO hour wait...for a hamburger! I don't get it. Well, I did get it, but "to-go" and still had a 30 minute wait. This is a place where the staff doesn't rush the patrons or themselves or apparently the kitchen. During the 20+-minute stretch I waited for my order to be prepared only a party of 4 and a party of 3 were seated.

On to the construction of the cheeseburger ($7.35): The bun was run-of-the-mill plain white bread bun, barely toasted. On the bottom was a conservative swipe of yellow mustard, one piece of green leaf lettuce, two (just two) small dill pickle slices, one thin slice of red onion, one silver-dollar sized slice of tomato (wtf), a thin well-seasoned 1/4 lb. patty was cooked perfectly to medium, slice of American cheese and topped with the other half of the bun and smashed (intentionally) together.

Let us now analyze these components from the base upwards.
1. The bun wasn't discernibly toasted, to me toasting is beyond a necessity, it's a requirement
2. A perfect amount of the proper mustard
3. The lettuce was a bit ancient (slimy around the edges) and shouldn't have been served
4. Two miserly dill pickle slices? luckily I don't much care for'em
5. The red onion was the perfect amount and the perfect thickness
6. Since it's during the peak of tomato season the thin tomato slice (singular) was an embarrassment
7. As previously stated, the meat patty was griddled and seasoned perfectly
8. Serving only American cheese was no surprise (given they're adjacent to an Army training base), it's melting ooze seeped deep into the patty (does that sound like food porn?)
9. And they proudly "smash" the burger parts together explaining it allows the flavors to "mingle". I suspect it's smashed in an attempt to make the burger hold together. And there begets a problem.

Given that watery produce is the foundation on an untoasted bun, it makes for a soggy, sloppy, slippery burger which could more easily be remedied by wrapping the burger (and toasted bun of course) in traditional paper (but who wants to waste 3 seconds to do that? aside...its a skill any line cook can learn in 2 minutes). The paperwrap would also make a more "user-friendly" burger. The to-go burgers were simply placed in a Styrofoam clam-shell container.

Sorry Bon Appetit{epic failure}...not 3rd best in the USA. This burger wouldn't make the top 50 in Dallas. And I'm not sure it would make the top 20 within a 10-mile radius.

Now for the sides: Freedom Fries ($1.69) - do people really still call'em this? Let it go, puh-leez. Flacid fastfood fries fried from frozen. Limp. Greasy. And not one grain of seasoning. A worse order of fries could not be made. Ever. Of the sizable order I ate 3 fries, Rosco turned away from my FF offers after the first taste...not worth the calories or the greasy fingers...especially since only one napkin was given per to-go order and I foresaw having to use it on the burger.

Actually in hindsight, if they'd've just taken the money and said, "Hey, our fries suck so bad we're just going to charge you, but also do a favor and not put'em in the bag." I would now think more highly of the Meer's crew.

Onion Rings ($2.58) - these were the highlight of the meal, grease-less, thick cut, crispy battering and seasoned just right. Perhaps the best I've ever eaten. No, I take that back...these were the best onion rings I've ever eaten!

Despite the spot-on onion rings and the well-prepared meat patty, I felt let down, cheap and used after my Meers experience. It was nowhere near as pleasant, euphoric or climatic as expected, promised and dreamed.

On a 1-10 scale with 10 being Valerie Bertinelli, and 1 being Monica Lewinsky, I'm rating Meers a 2 or Pre-Jenny Craig Kirstie Ally.

I see no reason for a return visit.