Tired of Pumpkin Pie - try this alternative

Man, I love pumpkin pie, but I love alternatives too.

I had this Bad Boy last week and it was amazing. Try it, no bake, no mess, no worries.

(h/t Kraft Food for the recipe and picture)

1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp caramel ice cream topping, divided
1 graham cracker pie crust
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp chopped pecans, divided
2 packages (3.4 oz each) jello instant pudding
1 cup cold milk (skim, 1-2%, whole...doesn't matter)
1 cup canned pumpkin (roast your own for bonus points)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1-8 oz tub whipped topping, divided

Pour 1/4 cup caramel topping into crust; sprinkle with 1/2 cup nuts.
Whisk pudding mixes, milk, pumpkin and spices until blended; fold in 1 1/2 cups whipped topping. Spoon into crust.
Refrigerate 1 hour. Top with remaining whipped topping. Garnish with caramel swirls and nuts.

Thank me later.

The Best Seasoning Mix Ever

This is one to keep on hand at all times. So versatile. Besides, it helps use up those spices that will only lose their mojo because you never use'em anyway.

3 tbsp paprika
1.5 tbsp onion powder
1.5 tbsp garlic salt
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp kosher salt
1 tbsp ground black pepper
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp ground mustard
1 tsp ground ginger (optional)

This mixture works on just about anything grilled, veggies, fish, beef, poultry or pork. It's even good on popcorn (mixed with a little grated parm).

For variety and versatility try these easy modifications (no more need to spend eight bucks on "E's" special BAM!

Blackening - add one more tbsp ground black pepper, a tbsp of white pepper, one more tsp cayenne, and one more tbsp of paprika
BBQ - add two more tbsp of brown sugar
Texican - add 3 tbsp of ground cumin and one more tbsp of chili powder

The mixture will keep, in an air tight container, for about 3 months.

Side note: be aware of the amount of salt you use, garlic salts vary. I try to err on the conservative side and add as the situation requires. Salt - you can always add, but never take away.

Freddy the Ferry Hawk

Update(6:30pm): this evening Freddy showed dramatic improvement and was passed off to Breaden Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. Thanks, Wallie!

Early this morning, by the highway, I found this Ferruginous Hawk.
Looks like it had been hit by an automobile, but still alive. Barely. Half of the left wing was shattered as well as major damage to the left side of the head.I moved it to a protected area and put out water, but I don't expect it to live through the night.
I also notice an aluminum band on one of it's legs. Since the accident had also caused the band to cut into the leg I decided to remove it (the band, not the leg).A good soaking, scrubbing and internet search later I found contact information for the Bird Banding Lab and reported the sighting and condition of the hawk.

Turns out the hawk was banded in Alberta, Canada on June 24, 1995. I guess being banded for over 14 years when the oldest know of your species is only 20 years old isn't so bad, especially when life expectancy is only 5 years. At least I have that to console me tomorrow, that's when I project I'll be digging a hole.

Juan Pelota, sudar nada

I saw this cat scatting down a desolate highway this morning.

(click to enlarge)

And as he got closer, something looked familiar. Could it be...?

(click to enlarge)

A. the AFLD
B. a time trial specialist
C. an example of a wrong turn in the Pyrenees

In related news: Juan Pelota = best pseudonym ever, and so much fun to say.

Lyrics of the Day - An Empty Glass

The lyrics from songs endangered of burn-out on my Zune.

I grew up on Country & Western music (okay, and the Monkees), and I'm currently a big fan of the Red Dirt movement. But today's C&W music is no more than pop music with an occasional steel guitar riff. I mostly feel embarrassed for the performers who have been shaped by the Nashville know-it-alls.

And then an ol'school song like this one pops out of my radio. Geez...when it was over, my eyes burned from cigarette smoke and I smelled like stale beer.

An Empty Glass performed by Gary Stewart

An empty glass,
and a last cigarette.
Closing time
and I'm drunk again.

But somehow I'll make it home
and cry myself to sleep.
And that's the way the day ends
every night for me.

Every night I'm in some bar,
throwin' whiskey on a heart that's on fire.
Forgetting you is no easy thing.
Each night for me always ends the same. With...(repeat, from the top, about 20 times for the full gist)

Sign of the Times

This sign gets my attention quicker than a double shot of expresso.
Location: 1/4 mile east of Rifle Range Rd. (kid you not...remember, this is a red state)

Oh, Deer!

This is why one should always carry a cheap digital camera on a morning x-country run...(and don't forget the knife).

I ran across this feral family early in my run. I didn't seem to scare'em much. Rosco, though, is another story, he thought he'd found a few new play pals. I counted two sows and seven little piglets. This is a partial shot of their wide turn after spotting me.

Here's a close(r)-up shot of one of the sows.

A good thing to know...boar hogs have a tendency to lag behind. They're protective, aggressive and stealthy. They're fast. They stink. They have huge knarly yellow tusks. I didn't get a picture of the huge beast because I've yet to master the run, point and shoot trifecta. But, along with my BFF, I did master the Spontaneous Sustained Fartlek™ (patent pending).

Aside...counting the boar there were ten piggies. Coincidence? I think not.


The not so boaring detour did allow me to cross paths with this friendly Vaquero. We've been playing "cat and mouse" for several weeks.

This particular foggy early morning run allowed me to ponder a few simple questions, such as:

• When an unplanned x-country route leads me into a wide-open, brushy low-lying area in the middle of deer season, and I'm surrounded by hills, atop each is perched a fifteen foot deer stand, have I made a wrong turn?

• Should I really be wearing only black shorts and Five Fingers against tanned skin with a white cap when white-tailed deer are a popular prey?
• Did my sudden realization followed by bulging eyeballs give me a "'you know what' in the headlights" look?
  
• Is there such a thing as Spontaneous Serpentining Sustained Fartleks?

Dear Santa,
Please add a pair of Hunter Orange Moebens to my wish list. Thanks in advance.
Sincerely,
Brent

BFF - Rosco

"Again to Carthage" - a not-really review

I have this great story, actually it's a joke...a really long, tenuous joke. But I tell it like a story, never calling it a joke, never letting on there'll be a punch line. I've ended up telling the (slightly off-color) story many times when taking students (all adults of course) on long field trips or late at night when returning with athletes (again, all adults) from a game or around a campfire. And at the end I've always found how the "monotony of the telling" impacts the punch line. Generally with rolling-in-the-aisles laughter. Funny as all get-out. But occasionally someone would innocently ask "what happened next?".

That is, in my strange way of thinking, how John L. Parker, Jr.'s book Again to Carthage initially struck me. Not that it's funny. On the contrary, there was very little humor in the book. I recognized it as serious stuff. But sometimes the detailed background information didn't seem important. Fooled was I.

Then after giving it more thought Parker's book became more like a Red Steagall (the Cowboy Poet/songwriter/performer) composition. Steagall always paints a vivid and detailed picture with words and ends with a swift twisting kick in the britches. I've spent many dusty days horseback, opting for big bulky headphones, eschewing the traditional Stetson, listening to the static-y AM radio stations when a Steagall song would well my eyes to muddy tears. After the final chorus I often wanted to scream "what happened next?".

One of my primary benchmarks for judging a good story is if it leaves me with a nagging "what happened next" feeling.

Parker has a knack, like Steagall, for weaving a large dose of non-fiction into a fictitious plot. I'm a sucker for that. And that's why I could never be taken seriously if I reviewed this book (well that and also I'm not a book reviewer). You see, as I sifted through the non-fictional parts of the book I realized there's only three degrees of separation between myself and John L. Parker, Jr. via a swift kick.

Damn you, objectivity!

So when I say this was one of the best books I've ever read, disregard my opinion. Just read the book.

I will, however, attempt to entice you by reviewing the plot without a spoiler to the "kick in the britches" ending.

Again to Carthage is Parker's sequel to his first work of fiction, Once a Runner. It picks up the story with Quenton Cassidy being a successful lawyer, yet yearning for one more chance in the spotlight since winning an Olympic silver medal ten years earlier. This time, however, his comeback will be as a marathoner attempting to make the Olympic team, not as a miler. The book follows him through a few life-changing event which help him make the decision to give up the fast-paced lawyer-ly lifestyle for that of the distance runner's solitude. Parker once again crafts a tale, this time using more sense stimulating words, with short chapters laying the groundwork for the climatic ending. Much like he did with Once a Runner.

And that's about all I can reveal without plagiarizing the book's cover flap, giving a spoiler, or bringing in my bias.

Speaking of bias, what are the three degrees of separation from myself to John L. Parker, Jr.?

First degree - years ago I spent several semesters as a teaching assistant for a musculo-skeletal assessment course. The opportunity afforded me the privilege to forge a friendship with the professor, Kyle Heffner, a member of the 1980 US Olympic Marathon team. In the trials, held in Buffalo, NY, Kyle established his place on the team by finishing third with a 2:10:55, behind Anthony Sandoval (2:10:19) and Benji Durden (2:10:41). If you'll recall, 1980 was the year President Jimmy Carter made the decision to boycott the summer Olympics in Moscow. Due to the boycott Kyle never realized his Olympic dream.

Third degree - John L. Parker's alter ego, Quenton Cassidy was trying to qualify for the Olympic marathon. Parker writes like he was actually there.

Second degree - sorry but I can't explain without spoiling. You'll have to read the book to connect the two. If you can take one from three you'll get two and immediately know the sudden impact the last few chapters had on me and why I let out a muffled "what happened next" whine.

I sincerely hope Parker has an answer.

Here's a snack treat for ya! Kind of not healthy, though.

Houston Press' food writer extraordinaire, Robb Walsh, who generally knows everything I'd care to know foodwise, put up this post on his blog yesterday.

Apparently he doesn't know what an oyster cracker is though. So disappointing is this - he thinks it's a cracker one eats with oysters.

Disappointing... like when I was fourteen and my mother finally convinced me that there really, really, really wasn't a Santa Clause or Easter Bunny. In a diatribe, mom crossed her heart, I became apathetic but remember her saying something about a hundred needles in her eye. Sigh.

Back on point...

In a former life, my now ex-wife made these fantastic snack treats for parties, events, camping or just snacking during football games. One of her many fine qualities.

Bonus whisper: the treats are much easier to sneak into movie theaters than popcorn.

Since I'm not sure if I have joint custody of her original recipe, I've taken the liberty of modifying, and of course improving, the recipe.

I'll call'em...

Call'em What You Want to Call'em Niblets
2 bags of Nabisco Oyster Crackers
1 cup canola or veg oil (or any other neutral tasting oil)
1 envelope of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix
herbs/spices:
1 tbsp dried dill weed
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tbsp garlic salt
1 tbsp lemon pepper

Mix herbs/spices, HVR mix and oil in a small pan. Heat over medium-low heat to about 200 degrees - do not boil/fry the herbs/spices (if you do, toss it out and start over). The object is to heat the oil enough to extract the flavors, but not cook the herbs. Many recipes don't heat the oil, but do it, your attention to details will be rewarded.
Put crackers in an over-sized mixing bowl and pour the hot oil mixture over them. Toss or stir until the oil is absorbed and everything is cooled to room temperature (usually 5-10 minutes). Hint - using a really large stainless steel bowl and tossing will quicken the cooling and absorption.

Store, air-tight, for their lifetime...usually a day or so, but I've found Zip-locks of these stashed away a week or so after they're made and FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC! Like finding a $10 bill in a pants pocket on the day before payday.

Here are a few variations on the basic recipe.
Texican: add 2 tbsp Cholula sauce (or Tabasco if you prefer) and one tbsp red pepper flakes
Asian: add 2 tbsp soy sauce, 2 tbsp Rooster (Sriracha) sauce, 1 tbsp ground ginger, 1 tbsp red pepper flakes; omit dill and thyme
Buffalo-y: use HVR dressing with bleu cheese, add 4 tbsp Franks hot sauce; omit dill; toss with 2 tbsp of real bleu cheese fine crumbs.
Italiano: use XVOO, 1 tbsp dried basil, 1 tbsp dried oregano; omit dill (serve this variation on a tray with fresh mozz and sliced tomatoes)

Make. Eat. Enjoy.

I'm working on a 12-step program for Niblet Addicton that may help us in the future.