Fitness Kitchen

Yeah, It's me, Dent Brudenhoeffer, bedside blogging the CBS GOP debate

2011-11-12T22:55:00.014-06:00

So here we go with the last 30 minutes, behind the scenes you didn't get to see. But I have the inside scoop of the cool stuff. Read on for the deets...

We're all wearing black stuff so that's cool.

I'm wearing a blue tie, appealing to the "others". That's the way I roll.

Pink for me because of the celebration of breast cancer month...oh, wait, that was October.

And I'm cool with wearing a blue tie, because I want to appeal too. But check it out, MoFos...Pin-effin-stripes. Yeah, baby, I kick ass.

I'm golden, so don't ask any questions.

And I don't need a stinking tie, I'm hot. I think I spotted Dent Brudenhoeffer sneaking around. I want' to jump that boy's bones. Eff the presidency, I just would be lucky to spend a night in a lonely hotel room with him.

That's my report.

Signing off,

Dent Brudenhoeffer

Dent Brudenhoeffer, Master of His Own Destiny

2011-07-17T07:58:00.023-05:00

Dent Brudenhoeffer, Undercover Agent Extraordinaire

Chapter 1 - Product Placement

The final kick of the eight mile run left his heart savagely pounding under the tanned, bare chest. The sinewy legs were only clad by a pair of salt-caked Saucony running short that silently told the story of the previous night’s Hornitos tequila and table dances at The Lodge. He had to clear his head and running always worked like that.

Now that the cob webs were gone he remembered he had a task at hand. It was time to go back under, deep under. It was a time to be reborn as a thief among thieves. He only needed the final details.

Almost as if it could read his mind the Verizon smart phone’s mechanical monotone rattled “droid”. The anonymous text message simply said…Bali.

B-A-L-I. He immediately knew his task. He knew the organization he needed to infiltrate, the method he would use, place he would stay, and potential contacts he would use. And he knew which kaki lima he would eat at that first night and successive nights. But more importantly those four letters caused an unnoticeable, yet disturbing rush of anxiety to travel down Dent’s usually fearless spine.

Dent feared no person, no situation, and no challenge. He had lived through plenty and should have perished at least a half a dozen times. But he did have fears, he feared his own vices. And the Island of the Gods had both of them….a beautiful woman, Asil, he met during his last, mostly unpleasant, assignment there, and …Opium.

So he ran again. He ran to forget…not Opium, which was long past but always remembered. He ran to forget Asil. Asil the food cart girl he fell in love with at first sight. She operated her kaki lima in the central district, that’s where they met. A picture of her sweaty pink tank top clinging to her damp olive skin is still branded in Dent’s brain. Her scent could only be that of a goddess. And her food…flavored with passion, seasoned with love and spiced with the hotness that could only be crafted by a double agent. The spiciness was her “tell” of dishonesty. But Dent didn’t care.

Dent broke THE rule, the one single rule all those undercover know too well. Don’t get emotionally involved. But he did. And Asil played him like a ’69 Les Paul through her twin Marshalls stacks. Her distorted rhythm laid the foundation to let him feel in control. Then she flipped and her sustained lead captured him, kept him on edge for what seemed like weeks before culminating in a Balinese prison. And that’s where Dent developed his taste for Opium. But he never lost his taste for Asil.

Early the next morning he awoke to the memories of Asil and Opium and the slight, yet cool dampness in his palms, so Dent did what Dent always did when he didn’t have time to run. He washed the memories away with a bottle of Corona. And then another. When all six were empty he packed his Coach backpack for Bali. Yes, just one Coach backpack for the extended stay. He needed little to blend in. And his needs didn’t include fancy-smancy undercover gadgets or guns. He preferred to outsmart the enemy. He was a Mental Assassin.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Consciousness came quickly, in a parking lot at LAX. How did he get there? Dent’s last recollection was a daydream of Asil. What had happened? As he sat up in the car’s backseat the searing pain piercing his rib cage meant bruised ribs, maybe a few were broken. And dull ache deep in his lower back could only indicate traumatized kidneys. And finally to the lower right of his stomach the stabbing pain could mean a ruptured appendix, or that pesky chronic, bowel obstruction that he religiously drank Metamucil to avoid.

But he had no marks, bruises or blood. A quick check…passport, wallet, Droid X all were accounted for. Just as Dent thought, it wasn't a robbery, this was a professional warning. But from whom?

The clock on his Droid told him his flight was boarding. Damning the pain, he grabbed his bag and sprinted through the Hertz Rent a Car lot and into the Tom Bradley International Terminal. $10 and a charming wink got him past the cute TSA screener and directly to the China Airlines gate. Dent was the last to board.

He slowly stretched out in the 1st class cabin, promptly popped two Valiums and the flight attendant brought a tumbler of Whipped Vodka with a splash of Dr. Pepper. He first sipped, and then he guzzled. The vodka and Valium tangoed in his head. For a moment he forgot the pain and grinned with a warm, euphoric buzz.

Just as he was drifting away for the 23 hour flight, reality hit him like a demolition ball to the solar plexus. He was left in the terminal parking lot because someone knew his plans. Someone wanted him to catch the flight. It could only be Asil and her evil ways, still haunting him.

Dent Brudenhoeffer, Undercover Agent Extraordinaire

Chapter 2 - Women Dent Loves

In the cold, dark windowless cell, she lay stretched on the board, bound at the wrist and ankles with her feet slightly elevated. Her lean, slightly muscular body was only partially clothed. She was surrounded by men in mismatched surplus military garb, many distracted by her beauty, and all armed with pistols and knives. Her blindfold was a greasy mechanics rag and the thick wool cloth covering her nose and mouth was even nastier and reeked of human waste. The water would soon wash away the acrid stench. She welcomed that, she hadn’t had water in three days and she loved water. She had a unique relationship with water.

The torturers were perplexed. How could such a, seemingly, weak and fragile woman not break under the 72 straight hours of interrogation. The crusted remains of blood that had trickled from the left side of her nose and corner of her mouth told the story of a right-handed interrogator who lost his control to her steel will. The interrogator was immediately ordered shot to death by the commander. Leaving physical damage was strictly forbidden. Knowing that only solidified Asil’s willpower.

The previous 72 hours had prepared her for the torture threat of last resort. Even though Asil thought actual waterboarding was more than likely off-limits, she prepared by summoning her Kundalini Shakti, a meditative state that lowered her metabolism and bodily functions to imperceptible levels but still allowing her to be aware of her surroundings. The interrogator, Chief Riki’s, questions continued and rapidly increased in pace and volume, until he was screaming from lack of control. It was then she felt the first chill of the water, saturating the wool cloth draped across her face. Suddenly the oxygen was gone, but the gasp reflex waterboarding depended upon was non-existent in Asil’s state. She knew it wouldn’t be long before the pain from the previous 72 hours of torture would be gone. And she would quickly follow, it would then be over and Asil would win...her secrets would be locked away. But it took longer than she wanted, was more painful than she expected and her last fading memory was grasping for the smooth, yet strong hands that had rescued her twice before…Dent’s hands.

“Warung” was the whispered, unemotional order given in Balinese to stop. Immediately the room fell silent and everyone snapped to attention. Everyone except Asil, she lay motionless and lifeless. Giving the order while entering the cell, was Commander Popi-Arat. Popi-Arat had earned the troop’s undying loyalty and respect with generous rewards for those who followed orders. The few not following orders were victims of a quick and usually humiliating public death, often dealt by Popi-Arat’s hand.

Popi-Arat eyed the limp body and removed the wool cloth and blindfold, then locked eyes with Chief Riki while blindly feeling for Asil’s non-existent pulse. The interrogator couldn’t help but notice the single tear escape Popi-Arat's eye and the quivering whisper, “Asil.”

Commander Popi-Arat ordered the chief interrogator, the one responsible for Asil’s torture, to take the lifeless body along the two kilometer overgrown forest trail to the disposal pit. Popi-Arat, alone and unarmed, closely followed the interrogator.

Only Popi-Arat returned, with Riki’s holster and unfired sidearm slung across her shoulder, a bloody knife in her right hand, and in her left hand was his genitalia.

++++++++++++++++

Even though the Balinese revered their women as goddess-like, it was rare when one, like Popi-Arat, ascended the ranks to such a powerful position. She, a petite female of exquisite beauty, who’s unwavering fairness, gentile spirit, and most importantly her immediate and addictive sexual appeal to both genders earned her a nickname she proudly wore… Opium.

It would have been easier to find him with Asil alive; he had the bad habit of always eating at her kaki lima. And that was one of the few mistakes he ever made. But that egomaniac, Riki, had to lose control and kill Asil, forcing Opium to make an example of him. And that she did by passing the body part, a trademark of hers, to each of the men who witnessed the torture and murder. Several of the men were noticeably distraught, one openly wretched, but all were solidified in their loyalty to Opium and her task.

Luckily, Opium had a contingency plan. She was a detailed planner and left no element to chance. She was a savant at setting traps and that’s what she was doing…setting a trap for the American, the Brit, the Westerner or whatever he was…the runner.

Chapter 3 - Surprise Visitors

The aches from the beating had started to distract Dent. But he couldn’t keep from noticing the two men who boarded the China Airline flight at the last minute, without carry-on bags. Strange for a 23-hour flight to a foreign country, Dent thought.

The two men boarded together, but seated separately, one in coach the other in 1^st class. Dent didn't miss the nod of acknowledgement from one to the other, nor did he miss the slight bulge on the left side of one man’s jacket or the prolific growth of turf tumbling from his chest and the one-button-too-many unbuttoned on his shirt. A right-handed Air Marshall, Dent could have easily surmised. But something wasn’t right. He was too young and didn’t look very smart. And these days everyone from dopers to drag queens was armed for World War III. But how did he get the gun on the plane? That was the question bouncing around Dent’s brain. And right then and there, he knew, these two were scumbags he needed to keep his eyes on. Well connected, they were, for sure, that was Dent’s bet.

Dent reclined in seat next to the window. He always sat with his back to the wall or in a window seat. It was something he learned from watching old western movies and it had worked out pretty good for him so far. No one sat in the aisle seat beside him, that was a good thing. Firstly, because if Harry Chest decided to get brave, Dent didn’t want an innocent person in the line of fire. Long ago Dent realized it was difficult, if not impossible, to unshoot an innocent person. Secondly, and most importantly, Dent had given up on his once polished social skills. He liked to blame it on his half-heartedly chosen career, but the reality was he had lost too much and he never wanted to get attached to anyone or anything again. That was the price paid for being a double or triple secret agent (he’d lost count)…and making the “big bucks”. Yeah, the “big bucks”, he silently chuckled to himself while mumbling, "The effin' big bucks."

Then he shook his damn head in self-disgust.

Dent needed another drink so he ordered a Bloody Maria, specifying Sauza Hornitos tequila. “And make it a triple, hold the Zing-Zang mixer” he said as he swallowed a handful of Vicodin. He didn’t know how many, he had stopped counting. And the tequila welcomingly washed the final dry pill down his parched throat.

Knowing he had twenty hours of flight ahead, he let the medicinal fog overtake his thoughts while plugging the headphones into his iPod. The song playing, ironically, was Guns-n-Roses’ Welcome to the Jungle.

More Mercy Magic

2010-10-05T05:15:00.001-05:00

Hot Springs is truly a magical place. History (or the Visitor and Convention folks) would lead you to believe it’s the magical spring water. I disagree. It’s the people. And I’ve worked with some amazing ones. Might I introduce some of those who have marked my life?

Radio Man – He cracks me up. The minute he offered his first words I thought he should be on the radio. Turns out he was. Other than me he has the best sense of humor ever.

Keith and “Keith” – I can only give these two guys a manly silence and slight nod. You know, like real men do. Chest bumps to ya.

C-Note – no one has ever so gently and politely yanked my chain. I don’t think he can be thanked enough for all he's done the past few months. “Above and beyond” is an understatement.

Bonnie and Chris – I don’t have a nickname for either of them because they're so real. They saw through me immediately and made many suggestions and recommendations…they knew what I needed, and how to make me fall in love with Hot Springs. The world is better because they populate it.

Big Boss - as I’ve mentioned before I’ve been blessed with great bosses in the past, but she's raised the bar. She’s not going to be with this project after this shift and she’s already being missed. Good luck, Linda, in your new position and I look forward to our paths crossing sometime in the future. BTW...sorry for my several "House-like" moments. Thanks for handling them so professionally.

Pam-Pam – A structure is only as solid as the foundation and you've been perfect. Thanks for letting me vent so many times. I want to hug you so bad it hurts, but not as much as a trip to HR would. And good luck in Memphis, maybe I’ll see you there. If not you’ll always be in my heart.

Ms. Awesome - I’ve spent the past few weeks leaving tears on the mountain trails while thinking how much I’ll miss you. Thanks for the wisdom. You’re absolutely awesome; never believe anyone who tells you differently.

Like it or not, I’m attached to each one of you and to Hot Springs. I owe all of you and the others on the team a huge thanks for fueling my life! There are some things that matter, some that don’t and all of you do matter in my life.

And a special thanks to the Sisters for giving me this opportunity!

I’ll leave all of you with this little ditty…

Whoops

2010-08-11T17:49:00.004-05:00

Hat Tip - Dallas Morning News

Crosstraining?

2010-07-11T10:35:00.001-05:00

Mercy Magic

2010-06-24T21:08:00.005-05:00

My time in Ardmore is winding down and, frankly, I'm looking forward to new challenges and a new environment, but I'd be amiss to not appreciate the awesomeness I've been privileged to be a part of here.

I've worked lots of places in my fifty years and mostly with some wonderful colleagues and supervisors. In retrospect, I can't think of any really bad work experiences I've had.

But this group in Ardmore...man, they're something special.

Magic.

Please indulge me and let me introduce them...

Leader of the pack is the Skipper, Harvey. He's a guy that dots the "i"s and crosses the "t"s. He knows a lot. A whole lot. He's taught me more than he will ever know. And he's a biker - extra kudos to Harvey for that. He knows more than any of us, yet is the epitome of humbleness.

Wayne, who I think of as Thurston, is someone I strive to be like. He didn't need to be here, yet he joined the group under an uncommonly difficult situation. He was a late addition, he played catch-up. His work ethic and adaptability are amazing. So is his ability to save Brent's a**.

Deb or Ginger, and I use that nickname in it's most admiring form, has been a savior. She's taken on roles none of us could have played. She faced audiences that would have cowered the strongest of us. She performed with determination, perseverance, professionalism and heart. A true artist, she is.

Lori can only be Mary Ann. She's to the point, organized, dependable and anything else one would want in a sister, mother, daughter or best friend. Quick story...Lori was once in a confrontation situation with an overly demanding student. During a "cooling-down" break another stake-holder mentioned to Lori "watch out, that woman just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq". Lori's reply was, "I've raised three kids, let her bring it on." That moment in time will forever let me remember Lori.

And finally, my co-host in crime, DeWayne "dynamite" Knight, who I think of as the Professor, has taught me so much about teaching. If it wouldn't make me a middle child, I'd want him for a younger brother.

Me? I'm just happy to be Gilligan in this three month tour.

Thanks to all of you who have made this past experience a remarkable time in my life...and curse you for setting the bar so high for the future!

My Favorite...paragraph

2010-05-15T13:17:00.000-05:00

The setup: it's about a lost Mexican tribe, the Tarahumara s. The book: Born to Run by Christopher McDougall.

Distance running was revered because it was indispensable; it was the way we survived and thrived and spread across the planet. You ran to eat and to avoid being eaten; you ran to find a mate and to impress her, and with her you ran off to start a new life together. You had to love running, or you wouldn't live to love anything else. And like everything else we love--everything we sentimentally call our "passions" and "desires"--it's really an encoded ancestral necessity. We were born to run; we were born because we run. We're all Running People, and the Tarahumara have always known.

The three funniest things I've seen in the back of a pickup...lately

2010-05-10T18:08:00.000-05:00

$30,000 motorcycle, $700 pickup. Isn't that like substituting a shopping cart for a baby jogger?

The multi-tasker

Whiskey, tango, foxtrot?

Coffee Shop Cash Cow - Exposed

2010-05-03T16:13:00.004-05:00

I almost had the coffee drinking thing eliminated. Almost.

The past winter I went totally tea, herbal, hot and fresh. And then the 3:00am runs took their toll, I found myself a repeat customer at the coffee bar.

Thankfully, sunny, 80 degree days thwart my coffee craving...until I remembered the crack of a coffee shop's menu...Iced Coffee.
A quick hop to the locally owned, downtown coffee shop proved they have a decent white chocolate iced coffee drink. But I had a few problems with it.

1. a medium size was $4.85 before tipping the barista
2. the coffee base was refrigerated in an old milk jug.
3. being the food service industry hardened individual I am, I'll guarantee the base was leftover coffee
4. a squirt of white chocolate flavored syrup and cream were the only other ingredients (besides left over coffee)
5. did I mention I paid $4.85 (before tip, and tip your barista, folks) for a 12 oz drink?
6. ...a 12 oz drink that was at least 8 oz ice (I.e., water) with 3 oz leftover coffee, a fl. oz of heavy cream and a splash of simple syrup.

What a cash cow! Food cost < 3% (A point of reference...successful mid-level to white tablecloth restaurants have a goal food cost of 30% and 20%, respectively. Fast foods run about a 50% food cost. IJS)

Soooooo...can one make a decent Iced Coffee at home. Ubetcha! Here's how....and bonus points to me for making it lower calorie with less sugar.

First of all brew however many pots your coffee maker needs to make a half gallon of STRONG coffee. I brewed my double strength. It took about a buck.20 worth of coffee. For authenticity poor in a used gallon milk jug. While it's hot add about 1/3 cup of sugar (or to taste) and mix to dissolve.

Cool in an ice bath. Store in the fridge.

For my taste preference I've found 3 parts coffee to one part dairy is perfect. I use 2% milk. You'll need about 3 cups total of milk for this amount of coffee...about $0.60 worth of milk. But don't add the milk until you're ready to mix and drink.

I also like a drop or two of high quality vanilla such as Watkins.

Fill a glass, or tumbler about 3/4 full with ice, pour in the chilled coffee to about an inch from the top. Splash in the dairy and add your flavoring of choice. Mix and sip. Thank me later.

Let's recap: Purchased iced coffee = $4.85 for about 6 fl.oz of product = or $0.80/fl.oz. Homemade = $1.90 for about 85 fl.oz. of product = or $0.03/fl.oz

You decide. This has been a public service announcement.

To My Fellow(ette) Clindocians

2010-04-28T21:39:00.002-05:00

Us Bus People made the front page of the Ardmoreite today. See it here. Can you OKC people top that?

To celebrate how all of us Clindocians rock, here's a really cool song that depicts our role (in my mind*).

*this job ABSOLUTELY doesn't suck.

Rainy Day Racin' and Bakin'

2010-04-18T13:49:00.005-05:00

The sound of rain woke me this morning. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

A smiling sleep I had. Then I ran...in the rain. Running in the rain for me is like Singing in the Rain is for Gene Kelly...not that a manly-man like me would know anything about musicals...or anything like that, you know what I'm sayin', right?

Now I bake (in my hotel kitchenette), and watch NASCAR.

I think I'm an oxymoron.

A cool, gray, rainy day and the smell of banana bread seem to be a great marriage. Not that I'm an authority on great marriages.

But I am (humbly) an authority on banana bread. Here's my, self-acclaimed, world renown recipe for Banana Bread with Ghirardelli chocolate chips:

Ingreds:
1 cup granulated sugar
1 stick unsalted butter (don't even try a substitute), at room temp
2 large eggs, at room temp
3 large bananas (proper bananas are the key to this recipe, here's the scoop:)

use over ripe bananas
they should have brown skins, you know the kind you usually throw away
peel'em and put'em in a zip top bag, the bananas should have a few brown spots
freeze them over night
thaw the next day, they should be really brown and slimy. This is a good thing. Do it. You will be rewarded with banana flavored exponential-ness.

1 tbsp milk
1 tsp cinnamon
2 C. AP flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp good quality vanilla (I use Watkins)
6 oz (by weight) of Ghirardelli chocolate chunks
2 oz thin sliced almonds, toasted

Preheat oven to 325 and butter a 9x5 loaf pan. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one by one and beat well after each addition.
In a small bowl mash the bananas, including their banana-y goodness juice with the milk, cinnamon and vanilla. Add to the light, fluffy, creamed butter and sugar mixture.
Mix the remaining dry ingredients together and slowly fold into the wet mixture. When the dry ingredients are almost incorporated add the chocolate and almonds. Fold lightly until distributed.

It's important to not over mix. This mix should not be over mixed. Don't over mix this mixture. A few small lumps are okay.

Did I mention to not over mix the recipe?

Put in previously buttered loaf pan and bake until the room smells so good your tummy rebels (about an hour). Use your tried-and-true method for checking done'd-ness (that's actually a word, IJS). I use the touch method, others use a toothpick or knife.

Remove from oven, invert on a rack to cool, resist for 15 (or 2) minutes. Slice. Chew. Swallow. Repeat as needed.

I think tomorrow I might have some happy co-workers.

A Day in the Life of Brent

2010-04-13T20:28:00.005-05:00

Yes, it's temporary. It's fun. And it's certainly productive. I've got a man-crush on all the guys I work with and a sister-crush on all the women.

Mercy is a pretty cool organization with really awesome employees.

And to bury the lede...here's my time-line for the last two days....

6:am: report to classroom for pre-class welcome-y admin stuff
7-11am - lecture/lab
12-1pm - break to file paperwork and organize for afternoon class
1-4pm - lecture/lab
4-5 or so pm - file paperwork from the day's classes; gather materials for the next day's classes (hand-outs, rolls, evals, ect.)
5-5:30 - errands/groceries/laundry
5:30-6:30 - Run w/Rosco
6:30-7pm - SSS
7-8pm - gather and organize material for tomorrow
8-10pm - rewine(d)
10-2am - sleep
2-4am - review material for morning and afternoon lecture/lab
4am - quick run with Rosco
5am - shower and dress for 6am prep/class.

A shot of my box of curriculum ? (click to enlarge)

This won't last for long, so it makes me smile to see how
busy I am.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot (4-10-10)

2010-04-10T06:33:00.006-05:00

I wonder what it is with me and signs these days.

Crooks Law Firm? Hmmm...isn't that implied guilt? This reminds me of a Dentist in Irving, Dr. Payne.

Shouldn't the treeline and lack of pavement be a better clue?

Who Named This?

2010-03-28T16:32:00.002-05:00

Surely it wasn't a PR person (or a PC person). I still can't help chuckling every time I walk past. Yeah, I'm in the third grade.

Ranting to Reality

2010-03-27T11:44:00.014-05:00

It all started last night. A Friday night kick-off of which I hope to take the final score with me every moment of my life to my grave.

But first a digression to the dreaded "back-story"...

I've spent the last several weeks in Oklahoma City at a very fine La Quinta hotel (Quail Springs branch and I highly recommend it). The trip has been smooth, educational and I've been lucky enough to meet lots of awesome, smart and professional trainers and peers. In reality it's been way too smooth.

Enter last night.

BFF and I returned to the hotel, me with an arm-load of food and taut leash in hand. At the side entrance, closest to my room, my key-card didn't work. This I know for sure because I tried, during a balancing act, at least forty-seven times. (on the up-side, I have $47 extra in my cuss jar)

The main entrance being the only one not needing a keycard was my only other choice. The problem: shiny white, slick marble-y floors are not on Rosco's preference list. He says they are not doable, end of discussion.

I understand this quirk...mine = canned asparagus.

After returning BFF and the food to the car for a brief wait I soloed into the fine La Quinta to give the front desk staff an uncharacteristic Texas-style "What-For". I explained, not diplomatically, how less than happy this unexpected turn in my life had allowed me to become,...more than a minor inconvenience it was.

"I have hot food to be eaten and a live mammal to take care of," I inflated.

I didn't mention the NCAA sweet sixteen to watch (luckily).

Unjust was the situation they put me in. Very unjust.

Sleeping restlessly and waking at 5:30 for my morning run, I sipped a quick cup of coffee and checked email. The contents of which caused my heart rate to quicken before ever slipping on my Nike Free 5.0s.

There in my daily e-bank statement was a billing for $910.00 at La QuintaOKC...for a room that should have been $273.

Not to be petty, but I'm not a rich man and a $600 mistake is somewhat distressing.

This, again, is unjust-ment toward me. Specifically toward me for sure.

To shorten a "too long" story, after numerous phone calls and lots of dedication to the issue by the La Quinta management I think it's resolved...TBD.

Later in the morning I needed printer paper and dog food. Down the road is a Walmart. There Rosco and I went.

A ream of paper, I discovered, is $4, not the usual $2.97 I pay at "my" Walmart. Unjust I think, but in my basket it lands.

The small bag of the Iams dog food I always buy (again at "my" Walmart) for $6.47 is $11.27. What's with the price gouging, OKCWalmart?

Is "Unjust Me" tattooed on my forehead?

Ambling toward the checkout stand passing through the pharmacy section I remembered needing a bottle of multi-vits (full disclosure, it was really a fiber supplement...I know TMI). They didn't have my regular (pun intended) brand, but generously offered an alternative...for a 50% unjust upcharge.

As I made my selection there was an older gentleman, perhaps in his upper seventies leaning on the pharmacy counter, speaking loudly on his cell phone. L-O-U-D-L-Y!

Surely you know how folks (especially old folks, shame on me for the sterotype) speak so loudly on the phone....yes?

Unjust.

Luckily I heard his side of the conversation. Here, to my best recollection, is his verbatim:

"I'm so sorry I haven't returned your call until now. Yesterday morning my wife died. I've been confused, I guess I'm in mourning."

That was right before I kinda lost it. (Thank you sun glasses, self-checkout and a Walmart where no one knows me)

Hey, Mister Older Gentleman, my condolences and thanks for re-framing my defination of "unjust".

I now know how perfect my life is.

Sportsmanship Anyone?

2010-02-27T21:43:00.002-06:00

Here's a screen capture after the final 4-person Bobsled run. Germany 1 was in the lead for a gold, the USA was on their final run.
The USA sled was spectacular and I think the Germans appreciated it.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if all athletes...strike that, EVERYONE...had the German's attitude?

Winter Sports - my way

2010-02-13T18:03:00.005-06:00

Other than the combination of wet and windy I love running (or just being outside) in almost any weather. Sweaty, hot and nasty...I'm there. Rain? Bring it on. Sunshine and 20 degrees? My pleasure, I'm in shorts with my really cool Moeben bamboo sleeves (I might not even wear a shirt).

But running in fresh snow is not a common-goodness opportunity. I love the soft, wet powder and the dampening of the footlanding sound it brings. It's the anti-mp3 player.

Here's a shot from yesterday's run:

February 12 - a time to celebrate!

2010-02-12T00:18:00.001-06:00

Why my party hat, you ask?

Maybe to celebrate Lincoln's birthday? Nope. Or the forth anniversary of former Vice President Cheney's shooting a lawyer? Nada. How about superstar talk show host Arsenio Hall's day of birth? Sorry.

Three strikes. You're out!

It's the Winter Olympics, baby!

They're back and this makes me happy. Admittedly, I'm not much of a winter sport participant (unless you include running in snow, which I love to do). But I find nothing more motivating on a cold night than a cup of hot tea and 3 or 4 hours of recorded Winter Olympics to replay.

I'll especially be watching the following favorite events (listed in order):

10. Snowboard Cross - like NASCAR on ice with no protection and not going 200mph
9. Ski Jumping - my first love of winter sports
8. Speed Skating - rock stars
7. Ice Hockey - I can still remember 1980. Greatest sporting event. Ever.
6. Bobsleigh - whatever happened to Bob-sled?
5. Luge - kinda crazy people involved
4. Skeleton - make those folks riding the luge look conservative
3. Cross-country skiing - I long for this skill
2. Biathlon - if I'd been born in Canada, I'd be a world champion at this.

And #1 is:

Curling - yeah, I said that. And before you ask me why, please have "why not" answered.

Random Winter Olympic question: Whatever happened to speed skiing?
Speculative answer: maybe it was the 150mph speeds and needing a quarter mile of the .6 mile course to stop.

Be assured I'll spend the next 16 days in Olympic bliss.

Walmart vs. Whole Foods? Locavore myth busted

2010-02-10T16:39:00.004-06:00

The Atlantic does an interesting article in the March issue comparing, and taste-testing, local/organic products procured from Walmart and Whole Foods Market. Read it, it's an eye opener.

In slightly related news...this morning while walking through Walmart's produce section I overheard this remark from a mother to her 5-6 year old daughter: "No honey, mommy don't have enough money to get you no fruit." (the mother had a cart load of chips and cookies)

These two things make me sad.

5 Greatest Super Bowl Commercials - in my brain's memory

2010-02-06T12:24:00.002-06:00

Although the past few years have yielded sub-par commercials I have high hopes for tomorrow's offerings.

I hope the game is good, too. (I digress)

Some sexy, some humorous and of course some controversial, but let's mainly wish for creative.

Last year the Super Bowl wouldn't air the very cool PETA commercial. This year it won't air Man Crunch.

But they will air the ultra conservative organization Focus on the Family's pro-life ad staring Tim Tebow and mother. (Notice on the FotF link I provided it's a .com not a .org. I'mJustSayin')

So here we go for the top 5, and if you'll read/watch to the finish you might just find a bonus...

#5 is from 1998 and had a insect as the star: The Tabasco Mosquito.

And at #4, starring a lady who reminds me of my grandmother: Wendy's "Where's the Beef" from 1984.

#3 was in 2005. We rode a wave a patriotism while Anheuser-Busch sprung for this commercial.

Larry Bird and Michael Jordan teamed with McDonalds in 1993 for what is nearly my all time favorite Super Bowl Commercial. #2 on the list is:

But the #1 Super Bowl commercial in the history of ever, natch, is the one from Coke in 1979 and started the whole "really cool Super Bowl commercials" thing. For this we owe many thanks. Starring the toughest, baddest NFL player ever, Mean Joe Green and a little kid. Hit it.

And you've read this far? Let me fulfill my promise with a bonus:

Happy Holidays you had, yes?

2010-01-23T16:19:00.002-06:00

I hope so, perhaps...

presenting presents, fireplace frolicking, Snuggler snuggling or nog noshing?

Good on ya! And a belated happy holidays!

Me...? A little less traditional. Let's recap while making a short story long.

The plan: picking up my big brother (aka MBB) and his fiance, Super Sister-in-Law (SSIL) at DFW. Arrival time 11:35pm on Christmas Eve. Then bring them back to the family holiday celebration. No problem, says I.

Mother Nature had other plans.

December 24=blizzard. Read all about the mess I got myself into here. I left at 6:00 pm for a routine three hour drive to the airport. Eighteen and a half hours later I had traveled a distance that usually takes me fifty minutes. 18-freaking-hours and 30-freaking-minutes!

And I foolishly didn't bring a book (or two), nor did I have my mp3 player...so I listened to pre-programmed Christmas music...for 18.5 hours. I NEVER want to hear another Christmas carol. N-E-V-E-R!

And then another three hours of icy-road driving to the airport. Luckily I had a pile of lovingly made ham sandwiches, a jar of Dijon, a gallon of spring water and a full tank of petrol.

Thanks MBB and SSIL for spending the night, and most of Christmas Day in the terminal.

Another four and a half hours and we finally were back for the holiday celebration, albeit a day late.

So take this as fair warning - next year I'm skipping Christmas. BAH-HUM-BUG!

Dear Blog,

2010-01-23T07:53:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry I've neglected you. However, I have missed you. I promise a post soon! How about a holiday recap?

Sincerely,
Brent

PS...Happy Birthday!

$64k Question

2009-12-27T21:56:00.006-06:00

Which of these guys...

has his nose on upside down?

Stalking the Stalkers

2009-12-27T15:53:00.009-06:00

I've been trying to get a shot of this Bobcat mom and kitten for a few weeks. Today was finally my lucky day.

It looks like they had duck for a holiday dinner.

This is about as close of a shot at the kitten as I could get.

Momcat tried to lure me off but kept a close eye on the kitten. She's actually a lot bigger than I thought. The closer I got, the bigger she was. I decided to leave her alone and go about my way. BFF was remarkably calm, unlike myself.

Less than a quarter mile away were, by my count, at least seven deer. Here's the only shot that was half way clear.

And again, less than a quarter mile from the deer was my favorite pack of feral hogs.
I finally had an opportunity to see the boar close-up. He's huge! This shot shows him bringing up the rear. There's a ham joke somewhere, I'm just too lazy to work it out.

This was probably one of my best wildlife spotting days ever.

White Christmas anyone?

2009-12-24T09:58:00.003-06:00

Searching the archives of my brain (didn't take long) I can never remember having an actual white Christmas. But my 50th may be the magical one. Not so sure that makes me happy.

27 degrees with steady 40mph winds and 60mph gusts for a 6 degree chill factor.

Hey, big bro, you sure you don't miss the Bahamian holidays?

Excuse me while I go shovel the walk.

My New Favorite Running Book

2009-12-16T15:14:00.024-06:00

Scooch over Rachel Toor and Personal Record: A Love Affair with Running, there's a new sheriff in town, Mark Remy and The Runner's Rule Book.

Awe. Some.

But first the back story. I've spent the last 27 days nursing a stress fracture (third metatarsal of my left foot, thanks for asking) and it hasn't been much fun. I've learned to dislike an elliptical trainer as much as a Stairmaster (two pieces of equipment with which I've been known to have an occasional, enjoyable fling). Also in that category...my mp3 player being stuck in my ears...and the view out of a smudge-stained plate glass window gazing upon a desolate street where, it seems, only law enforcement officers and an occasional delivery truck passes (if anyone needs to rent furniture or a TV, I have the number memorized). I digress.

Five important things I've learned:

5. Being on a stationary exercise machine is un-nerving in case one needs to escape a mugging; at least when running I have a pretty good chance of getting away unharmed (And it counts as fartlek training. A release, fartleking is.).

4. ESPN discusses the same three topics, ad nauseum.

3. I hate leaving BFF in the backseat; he, just watching me with his head cocked is sad.

2. It's impossible to read on an elliptical trainer.

1. It's not impossible to confuse Fox News with a SNL skit.

But I did find a way to enjoy three hours on the Stairmaster, enter The Runner's Rule Book. Yes, at 166 pages I averaged about a page a minute, including contemplation. (Hey, I never claimed to be very smart or a fast reader.)

And Remy gives a reading runner lots to contemplate.

Any runner with even minimal experience will find him/herself with a palm print on the forehead and a "I could have written that" realization after most pages. Newish runners, or those thinking of embarking on a running program - this is a must read - I'm looking at you, Santa Claus.

A few of my favorite Remy-isms include:

Keep unsolicited advice to yourself
Know your pace
Stand still at red lights
You'll find the runner's high when you stop looking
Line up where you belong
Never miss a chance to thank a volunteer

But my favorite Remy-ism is...
Run like a dog. He goes on to give a dog's workout, much like my BFF's. Here it is:

Warmup - walk 8 seconds.
Trot 4 seconds.
Stop. Sniff.
Sprint 7 seconds.
Freeze.
Walk 5 seconds in any direction but forward.
Pause. Stare 9 seconds.
Lunge at rabbit.
Stop.
Double back, walk 3 seconds.
Urinate.
Repeat six to eight times.
Cooldown: Collapse on a rug.

On a scale, with 1 being your next door neighbor complaining of having had "shin splints" when he was in junior high, to 10 being Meb Kefizinghi, this book is Mebtastic.

The Runner's Rule Book, by Mark Remy; 166 pgs; hardcover; $17.99 USD; wide availability.

Two Sides of Sandra

2009-12-15T19:39:00.004-06:00

Just winding up the viewing of a few movies.

The Blindside with Sandra Bullock; great story, but movie...not so much; read about it here; save yourself 2+ hours and a few bucks. Sandra Bullock is; however, hotter than ever. Note to Sandra: blond doesn't do it for you, but not to worry, I'm still crushing. Note to Michael Oher: I've got a man-crush on you.

Sideways with Sandra Oh; dark story, great movie; why do awesome movies always have a bleak storyline? Note to Sandra Oh: hmmm....can't think of a suggestion for improvement...maybe one of those running skirts? Sorry, that's the best I can do.

Bonus upbeat storyline: No Reservations, Catherine Zeta-Jones (in a kitchen) gets my attention. But her name isn't Sandra, so shame on me for adding this graf to the post.

Sometimes things work out better than expected

2009-12-13T15:15:00.008-06:00

A final update on Freddie the Hawk: Here's a recent message I received from Wallie and Yolande.

"Well Brent ,just a note to tell you the ferruginous hawk is doing well . It was touch and go for a while. He not only had the injury's we could see , but the roof of his mouth had been split and was bleeding from there as well. We had to do some work on that to stop the bleeding. He is starting to get an appetite back and is starting to eat on his own again. We still are not sure weather or not he has badly bruised lungs or not as he still has problems with his breathing , but is doing better on that as well . Here are some pictures . Will take more when he's up to it . Have a Merry Christmas Wallie & Yolande"

Folks who do this type of stuff, for nothing other than self-fulfillment, are blessed people.

Puppie Presents - Holiday Edition 2009

2009-12-12T17:24:00.005-06:00

Bag of raw hide chews = $14.95
Extra soft 300 count woven Egyptian cotton chew rope with certified Black Angus hoof chew attachments = $39.99

Stick = priceless

Not Swell

2009-12-12T12:13:00.003-06:00

I've now been 23 days without running. This means my life officially sucks. The stress fracture is much better, I can almost walk pain-free. And the swelling is down to a light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel stage.

Here's hoping for a pain-free Thursday next week, then a week of nurturing and hopefully a pre-Christmas Day run.

Fingers crossed, please. And Santa, please pay attention.

Scary Movie Alert - and high recommendation

2009-12-07T22:55:00.005-06:00

As a general rule, I don't like scary movies...no, I abhor them. But I just watched a fantastic one. Okay, it's non-fiction and all about food. And you know me, I love most things food-wise.

The title of the film is "The Future of Food". I highly recommend everyone take two hours of your life and focus on the film.

Powerful stuff.

Whether you like it or not, for better or worse, the movie's subject is changing the world. Maybe it won't affect your world much, but certainly will influence the next generation.

In related news, I'm six days deep into a ten-day fast and started having some weird feelings about food. The movie was welcomed motivation.

Rating: on a scale of 1-10 with "Waiting" being a 1 and "Food, Inc." being a 10, I rate "The FoF" a 12.

"The Future of Food" directed by Deborah Koon Garcia; run time 1:48; available on DVD

Tired of Pumpkin Pie - try this alternative

2009-11-23T23:54:00.001-06:00

Man, I love pumpkin pie, but I love alternatives too.

I had this Bad Boy last week and it was amazing. Try it, no bake, no mess, no worries.

(h/t Kraft Food for the recipe and picture)

1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp caramel ice cream topping, divided
1 graham cracker pie crust
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp chopped pecans, divided
2 packages (3.4 oz each) jello instant pudding
1 cup cold milk (skim, 1-2%, whole...doesn't matter)
1 cup canned pumpkin (roast your own for bonus points)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1-8 oz tub whipped topping, divided

Pour 1/4 cup caramel topping into crust; sprinkle with 1/2 cup nuts.
Whisk pudding mixes, milk, pumpkin and spices until blended; fold in 1 1/2 cups whipped topping. Spoon into crust.
Refrigerate 1 hour. Top with remaining whipped topping. Garnish with caramel swirls and nuts.

Thank me later.

The Best Seasoning Mix Ever

2009-11-21T14:02:00.005-06:00

This is one to keep on hand at all times. So versatile. Besides, it helps use up those spices that will only lose their mojo because you never use'em anyway.

3 tbsp paprika
1.5 tbsp onion powder
1.5 tbsp garlic salt
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp kosher salt
1 tbsp ground black pepper
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp ground mustard
1 tsp ground ginger (optional)

This mixture works on just about anything grilled, veggies, fish, beef, poultry or pork. It's even good on popcorn (mixed with a little grated parm).

For variety and versatility try these easy modifications (no more need to spend eight bucks on "E's" special BAM!

Blackening - add one more tbsp ground black pepper, a tbsp of white pepper, one more tsp cayenne, and one more tbsp of paprika
BBQ - add two more tbsp of brown sugar
Texican - add 3 tbsp of ground cumin and one more tbsp of chili powder

The mixture will keep, in an air tight container, for about 3 months.

Side note: be aware of the amount of salt you use, garlic salts vary. I try to err on the conservative side and add as the situation requires. Salt - you can always add, but never take away.

Freddy the Ferry Hawk

2009-11-20T13:10:00.009-06:00

Update(6:30pm): this evening Freddy showed dramatic improvement and was passed off to Breaden Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. Thanks, Wallie!

Early this morning, by the highway, I found this Ferruginous Hawk.
Looks like it had been hit by an automobile, but still alive. Barely. Half of the left wing was shattered as well as major damage to the left side of the head.I moved it to a protected area and put out water, but I don't expect it to live through the night.
I also notice an aluminum band on one of it's legs. Since the accident had also caused the band to cut into the leg I decided to remove it (the band, not the leg).A good soaking, scrubbing and internet search later I found contact information for the Bird Banding Lab and reported the sighting and condition of the hawk.

Turns out the hawk was banded in Alberta, Canada on June 24, 1995. I guess being banded for over 14 years when the oldest know of your species is only 20 years old isn't so bad, especially when life expectancy is only 5 years. At least I have that to console me tomorrow, that's when I project I'll be digging a hole.

Juan Pelota, sudar nada

2009-11-20T10:38:00.003-06:00

I saw this cat scatting down a desolate highway this morning.

(click to enlarge)

And as he got closer, something looked familiar. Could it be...?

(click to enlarge)

A. the AFLD
B. a time trial specialist
C. an example of a wrong turn in the Pyrenees

In related news: Juan Pelota = best pseudonym ever, and so much fun to say.

Lyrics of the Day - An Empty Glass

2009-11-19T18:07:00.008-06:00

The lyrics from songs endangered of burn-out on my Zune.

I grew up on Country & Western music (okay, and the Monkees), and I'm currently a big fan of the Red Dirt movement. But today's C&W music is no more than pop music with an occasional steel guitar riff. I mostly feel embarrassed for the performers who have been shaped by the Nashville know-it-alls.

And then an ol'school song like this one pops out of my radio. Geez...when it was over, my eyes burned from cigarette smoke and I smelled like stale beer.

An Empty Glass performed by Gary Stewart

An empty glass,
and a last cigarette.
Closing time
and I'm drunk again.

But somehow I'll make it home
and cry myself to sleep.
And that's the way the day ends
every night for me.

Every night I'm in some bar,
throwin' whiskey on a heart that's on fire.
Forgetting you is no easy thing.
Each night for me always ends the same. With...(repeat, from the top, about 20 times for the full gist)

Sign of the Times

2009-11-18T17:13:00.005-06:00

This sign gets my attention quicker than a double shot of expresso.
Location: 1/4 mile east of Rifle Range Rd. (kid you not...remember, this is a red state)

Oh, Deer!

2009-11-15T12:15:00.005-06:00

This is why one should always carry a cheap digital camera on a morning x-country run...(and don't forget the knife).

I ran across this feral family early in my run. I didn't seem to scare'em much. Rosco, though, is another story, he thought he'd found a few new play pals. I counted two sows and seven little piglets. This is a partial shot of their wide turn after spotting me.

Here's a close(r)-up shot of one of the sows.

A good thing to know...boar hogs have a tendency to lag behind. They're protective, aggressive and stealthy. They're fast. They stink. They have huge knarly yellow tusks. I didn't get a picture of the huge beast because I've yet to master the run, point and shoot trifecta. But, along with my BFF, I did master the Spontaneous Sustained Fartlek™ (patent pending).

Aside...counting the boar there were ten piggies. Coincidence? I think not.

The not so boaring detour did allow me to cross paths with this friendly Vaquero. We've been playing "cat and mouse" for several weeks.

This particular foggy early morning run allowed me to ponder a few simple questions, such as:

When an unplanned x-country route leads me into a wide-open, brushy low-lying area in the middle of deer season, and I'm surrounded by hills, atop each is perched a fifteen foot deer stand, have I made a wrong turn?

Should I really be wearing only black shorts and Five Fingers against tanned skin with a white cap when white-tailed deer are a popular prey?
Did my sudden realization followed by bulging eyeballs give me a "'you know what' in the headlights" look?
Is there such a thing as Spontaneous Serpentining Sustained Fartleks?

Dear Santa,
Please add a pair of Hunter Orange Moebens to my wish list. Thanks in advance.
Sincerely,
Brent

BFF - Rosco

2009-11-14T14:18:00.003-06:00

"Again to Carthage" - a not-really review

2009-11-12T12:52:00.011-06:00

I have this great story, actually it's a joke...a really long, tenuous joke. But I tell it like a story, never calling it a joke, never letting on there'll be a punch line. I've ended up telling the (slightly off-color) story many times when taking students (all adults of course) on long field trips or late at night when returning with athletes (again, all adults) from a game or around a campfire. And at the end I've always found how the "monotony of the telling" impacts the punch line. Generally with rolling-in-the-aisles laughter. Funny as all get-out. But occasionally someone would innocently ask "what happened next?".

That is, in my strange way of thinking, how John L. Parker, Jr.'s book Again to Carthage initially struck me. Not that it's funny. On the contrary, there was very little humor in the book. I recognized it as serious stuff. But sometimes the detailed background information didn't seem important. Fooled was I.

Then after giving it more thought Parker's book became more like a Red Steagall (the Cowboy Poet/songwriter/performer) composition. Steagall always paints a vivid and detailed picture with words and ends with a swift twisting kick in the britches. I've spent many dusty days horseback, opting for big bulky headphones, eschewing the traditional Stetson, listening to the static-y AM radio stations when a Steagall song would well my eyes to muddy tears. After the final chorus I often wanted to scream "what happened next?".

One of my primary benchmarks for judging a good story is if it leaves me with a nagging "what happened next" feeling.

Parker has a knack, like Steagall, for weaving a large dose of non-fiction into a fictitious plot. I'm a sucker for that. And that's why I could never be taken seriously if I reviewed this book (well that and also I'm not a book reviewer). You see, as I sifted through the non-fictional parts of the book I realized there's only three degrees of separation between myself and John L. Parker, Jr. via a swift kick.

Damn you, objectivity!

So when I say this was one of the best books I've ever read, disregard my opinion. Just read the book.

I will, however, attempt to entice you by reviewing the plot without a spoiler to the "kick in the britches" ending.

Again to Carthage is Parker's sequel to his first work of fiction, Once a Runner. It picks up the story with Quenton Cassidy being a successful lawyer, yet yearning for one more chance in the spotlight since winning an Olympic silver medal ten years earlier. This time, however, his comeback will be as a marathoner attempting to make the Olympic team, not as a miler. The book follows him through a few life-changing event which help him make the decision to give up the fast-paced lawyer-ly lifestyle for that of the distance runner's solitude. Parker once again crafts a tale, this time using more sense stimulating words, with short chapters laying the groundwork for the climatic ending. Much like he did with Once a Runner.

And that's about all I can reveal without plagiarizing the book's cover flap, giving a spoiler, or bringing in my bias.

Speaking of bias, what are the three degrees of separation from myself to John L. Parker, Jr.?

First degree - years ago I spent several semesters as a teaching assistant for a musculo-skeletal assessment course. The opportunity afforded me the privilege to forge a friendship with the professor, Kyle Heffner, a member of the 1980 US Olympic Marathon team. In the trials, held in Buffalo, NY, Kyle established his place on the team by finishing third with a 2:10:55, behind Anthony Sandoval (2:10:19) and Benji Durden (2:10:41). If you'll recall, 1980 was the year President Jimmy Carter made the decision to boycott the summer Olympics in Moscow. Due to the boycott Kyle never realized his Olympic dream.

Third degree - John L. Parker's alter ego, Quenton Cassidy was trying to qualify for the Olympic marathon. Parker writes like he was actually there.

Second degree - sorry but I can't explain without spoiling. You'll have to read the book to connect the two. If you can take one from three you'll get two and immediately know the sudden impact the last few chapters had on me and why I let out a muffled "what happened next" whine.

I sincerely hope Parker has an answer.

Here's a snack treat for ya! Kind of not healthy, though.

2009-11-06T16:57:00.014-06:00

Houston Press' food writer extraordinaire, Robb Walsh, who generally knows everything I'd care to know foodwise, put up this post on his blog yesterday.

Apparently he doesn't know what an oyster cracker is though. So disappointing is this - he thinks it's a cracker one eats with oysters.

Disappointing... like when I was fourteen and my mother finally convinced me that there really, really, really wasn't a Santa Clause or Easter Bunny. In a diatribe, mom crossed her heart, I became apathetic but remember her saying something about a hundred needles in her eye. Sigh.

Back on point...

In a former life, my now ex-wife made these fantastic snack treats for parties, events, camping or just snacking during football games. One of her many fine qualities.

Bonus whisper: the treats are much easier to sneak into movie theaters than popcorn.

Since I'm not sure if I have joint custody of her original recipe, I've taken the liberty of modifying, and of course improving, the recipe.

I'll call'em...

Call'em What You Want to Call'em Niblets
2 bags of Nabisco Oyster Crackers
1 cup canola or veg oil (or any other neutral tasting oil)
1 envelope of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix
herbs/spices:
1 tbsp dried dill weed
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tbsp garlic salt
1 tbsp lemon pepper

Mix herbs/spices, HVR mix and oil in a small pan. Heat over medium-low heat to about 200 degrees - do not boil/fry the herbs/spices (if you do, toss it out and start over). The object is to heat the oil enough to extract the flavors, but not cook the herbs. Many recipes don't heat the oil, but do it, your attention to details will be rewarded.
Put crackers in an over-sized mixing bowl and pour the hot oil mixture over them. Toss or stir until the oil is absorbed and everything is cooled to room temperature (usually 5-10 minutes). Hint - using a really large stainless steel bowl and tossing will quicken the cooling and absorption.

Store, air-tight, for their lifetime...usually a day or so, but I've found Zip-locks of these stashed away a week or so after they're made and FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC! Like finding a $10 bill in a pants pocket on the day before payday.

Here are a few variations on the basic recipe.
Texican: add 2 tbsp Cholula sauce (or Tabasco if you prefer) and one tbsp red pepper flakes
Asian: add 2 tbsp soy sauce, 2 tbsp Rooster (Sriracha) sauce, 1 tbsp ground ginger, 1 tbsp red pepper flakes; omit dill and thyme
Buffalo-y: use HVR dressing with bleu cheese, add 4 tbsp Franks hot sauce; omit dill; toss with 2 tbsp of real bleu cheese fine crumbs.
Italiano: use XVOO, 1 tbsp dried basil, 1 tbsp dried oregano; omit dill (serve this variation on a tray with fresh mozz and sliced tomatoes)

Make. Eat. Enjoy.

I'm working on a 12-step program for Niblet Addicton that may help us in the future.

Might I Read To You?

2009-10-25T23:59:00.002-05:00

In my next life I hope to be a writer. And this is how I want to write...

From Again to Carthage by John L. Parker.

Eight days later the Runner lay in an oak box at the feet of a childhood friend on the hot little hill of faded brown grass in the middle of the coral peninsula the Spaniards named for flowers. The faint traffic hum from Interstate 4 in the distance drifted across the parboiled landscape of scrub palmettos and spindly pines, indicating that humidity and rabid insects notwithstanding the Sunshine State was on the move.
The preacher was waiting.
Cassidy made a noise just to be sure he could. Then he pulled some cards from his inside jacket pocket and looked up at the small group. "Robert Penn Warren wrote about how there is really no one quite like a friend of your youth. Someone who looks at you later in life and sees you only as you were when you were young. I cannot truly comprehend that we are here today for the reason that we are, and I don't think I'll be able to understand it for a very long time. And the one person who I would want to help me understand it is the one person who cannot. He was a friend of my youth and that is the way I will always think of him."

and

"It was that crazy head-floating scent of frangipani, oleander, Spanish moss, Gulf Stream, and some kind of spicy bayonet plant that always reminded him of the aroma of drawn butter sitting beside a lobster tail.
It was salty tropical fruit salad is what it was and it woke him to the first rays of sun over Lake Worth. He lay drowsily under a single mostly symbolic sheet watching the orange glow suffuse the stucco surfaces and arches of his bedroom, stretching deliciously and almost without movement in the rare absence of air-conditioning's false chill."

If you didn't know, I loved Parker's Once a Runner. While I'm barely into his Again to Carthage it's shaping up into a wonderful read.

PBS Discovers Desires

2009-10-14T17:00:00.001-05:00

The Botany of Desire that is...

Hot off the e-press...a new PBS series, The Botany of Desire, based on Michael Pollan's book of the same name will begin on Oct. 28. Carnac says it'll be a four part series, but what does Carnac know?

Seriously, this is one of my many favorite books and I'm betting PBS does a spectacular job with the series.

My Favorite - Tortilla Soup

2009-10-14T12:00:00.005-05:00

I've been lucky enough to work with two different chefs in two different kitchens who also spent time in the Mansion's kitchen. Both were pretty darn good chefs and amazingly (not really) they had similar versions of Tortilla Soup. I suspect it was Dean's version, but that I do not know for sure. I've never eaten at the Mansion.

Here's the compilation (in scaled-down form) of the tort soup recipe I developed working with both of the chefs. It was ultimately put on the banquet menu at Central 214. Thanks Susy and AS.

Central 214 Tortilla Soup

Canola oil for sauteing and other uses
4 Roma tomatoes, cut in half longways
2 tomatilloes, cut in half
2 stalks celery, chopped
1/2 medium yellow onion, rough chopped
2 large cloves garlic, chopped
2 bay leaves
1 qt. chicken stock (homemade is best, of course)
1 qt. tomato juice
2 tbsp chili powder, plus more to adjust seasoning
1 tbsp cumin, plus more to adjust seasoning
8-6 inch corn tortillas (cheap stale ones are fine), torn to small pieces
juice of one lime
1 bunch cilantro, stemmed and chopped (perhaps, reserve some for garnish)
Other garnishes:
grilled chicken shredded, diced avocado, grated cheddar, sour cream, cilantro, crispy corn tortilla ribbons

1. Coat tomatoes and tomatilloes in oil and season with S&P, place in small pan (skin side down) and roast in 450 degree oven about 25 minutes-until soft and slightly charred. Cool.
2. In 6-8 qt stockpot, saute onion, celery, garlic with bay leaves, S&P, chili powder and cumin until celery and onion are soft but not caramelized. Add roasted tomatoes and tomatillos with their juices. De-glaze roasting pan with a splash of chicken stock and add to stock pot.
3. Cook on high until tomatoes start falling apart. De-glaze with chicken stock, add tomato juice and bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. Remove the bay leaves (both).
4. Add tort pieces and simmer another 2-3 minutes, add cilantro.
5. Using a stick blender to puree until smooth. You can also work in batches and use a regular blender, but LOOK-OUT!---safety issue.
6. Finish with lime juice and adjust seasoning with S&P and cumin/chili powder if needed.
7. Garnish with shredded chicken, avocado, cheese, sour cream, crispy tortilla strips and/or cilantro.

Here's how I like to plate (bowl) it:

In a pasta bowl place a table spoonful, or two, of diced avocado and shredded chicken. Gently ladle the soup around the avocado and chicken. Float a heaping teaspoon of sour cream in the middle, sprinkle with a pinch of shredded cheese. Float a few crispy strips and top with minced cilantro.

Serve with a mushroom and spinach quesadilla wedge.

Lyrics of the Day - If I Had a Million

2009-10-09T21:45:00.002-05:00

The lyrics from songs endangered of burn-out on my Zune.

If I Had a Million by Pat Green

Well if I had me a million, I'd build you a mansion
A hundred miles from nowhere with all a girl could need
Run around in the hallways and dance in the backyard
we ain't got no neighbors, ain't no one'll see

If I had me a speedplane, I'd fly you across the land
and land us in some little border town
Drink some margaritas, dance to mariachis
and put you on my speedplane at night, and bring you on back home

If I had me a steamboat, sail across the ocean blue
and dock in some little port o'call
We would have a fine time, Swiss cheese and French wine
put you on my steamboat at night, and bring you on back home

I ain't got no million, ain't got no speedplane
ain't got no boat upon the sea.
All I got are these two strong arms, I can hold you so tightly
Baby, won't you, won't you please, come back home to me.

The Number One Reason...

2009-10-08T08:52:00.004-05:00

it's so hard for Americans to eat healthy:

Because making poor choices is so easy...and cheap.

Since Braum's doesn't list nutritional data I've done a little probing and here's my best estimate (h/t calorie counter):
2 Braum's patties = 860 cal/74 g fat
1 Braum's bun = 300 cal/4.5 g fat
2 slices Braums cheddar = 220 cal/18 g fat
1 regular vanilla shake (from Steak n' Shake) = 717 cal/22 g fat

Not including the produce or condiments I get a grand total of 2100 cal/118 g fat
A whooping 50% of the calories from fat!

On the upside...fries don't come with the meal. (small from Micky-D's is 230 cal/11 g fat)

In contrast, I was in Whole Foods (Lakewood) yesterday and organic apples(my new favorite fruit) were on special for $0.99/lb. So let's compare...

$2.99 of apples from WF = approximately 660 calories negligible fat
$2.99 meal from Braum's = 2100 calories and 118 grams of fat

1 penny buys you two calories at WF, but the same penny buys you 7 calories at Braum's.

The question of the day is "Does it cost more to eat healthy?" Ponder on...

Getting Older Isn't So Bad: consider the alternative

2009-09-26T19:40:00.003-05:00

Especially when you have those thoughtful enough to send the World's Best Birthday Card.

And it says:

We don't stop playing because we grow old,
We grow old because we stop playing.
- C. Wyatt Runyan

Uncle Tom and Aunt Jan, awesome selection! Mucho G.

My Favorites - Real Texan Chili

2009-09-25T12:07:00.006-05:00

Yes, I'm still pescaterian, but there's nothing like football, the state fair and cool weather to bring out the flexitarian in me. The weather/time of year/craving for beef allow me to think...

CHILL- EE!

I've judged several chili cook-offs, competed a few times and most importantly, used to make a large batch (about 5 gallons) every other day. I know a little bit about chili and I love chili.

First things first, lets get the misconceptions out of the way.

Beans? It. Doesn't. Matter. During every "pre-judging" meeting it's a topic. Most judges I've worked with won't use beans/no beans as criteria. I've made chili with black beans, pinto beans, kidney beans and without beans, and I'll tell you it's the balance of seasonings, spices and herbs that make a good pot of chili (friends and beer add lots, too).
Spiciness? A cook better have a good reason for the heat. Heat for heat's sake is a poor excuse and is used by mediocre cooks to cover the lack of skills/palate.
Vegetarian chili? Don't bother. Chili is a hearty dish, trying to "lighten" it up won't do much...except create gas.
Chicken chili? See #3. In Texas, we call it White Bean and Chicken Soup. It's good, but it ain't chili.
Here's the trick...are you ready for this? Cumin to chili powder ratio. Most recipes are heavy on the chili powder with only a smidgen of cumin. Wrong. The proper ratio is 3:2, cumin to chili powder.

Okie-dokie...here's the recipe for best chili ever.

2 lbs chuck roast, diced (slightly freeze it to make it more manageable, in a pinch use coarsely ground chuck)

1 medium yellow onion, small chop

2-14 oz can of peeled tomatoes with juice

1-14 oz can of tomato juice

5 large cloves garlic, mashed to a paste (about 2 tbsps)

14 oz can of beans, drained and rinsed (of your choice of bean type and optional)

2 bay leaves

3 tbsp cumin

3 tbsp paprika

2 tbsp chili powder

1 tbsp dried oregano

½ tsp cayenne

6 oz beer of your choice (drink the rest)

About a can of chicken stock

S&P as needed

Brown ground beef with S&P; add onions, bay leaves, spices and cook until onions are translucent and soft; add garlic and cook for 2 more minutes; deglaze with beer; add tomatoes, tomato juice, beans(optional) and chicken stock; cook uncovered to reduce to the consistency of your choice.

Garnish with shredded cheddar, fresh diced red onions and/or chopped cilantro.

Serve with tortilla chips, corn bread, over Fritos (hello, Frito pie) or simply, and my favorite, with a warm corn tortilla.

Dallas Cowboys and Jerryworld: Top 10 Biggest Surprises

2009-09-21T17:55:00.002-05:00

10. I'd rather the Cowboys lose in September than in December, but I'm sticking with a 9-7 prediction. And the way they played last night they'll miss the playoffs.

9. The announcing team of Chris Collinsworth and Al Michaels are, by far, the best I've ever seen/heard.

8. Jerry Jones, you can pick who sits in your suite, and you can pick who you want to play, but don't pick your nose on national TV.

7. Overheard from 43 to Madden: Mr. Madden, I'm sure if I would have had one of those telemastrater thing-ys the whole Iraqi war would have turned out differently.

6. Will Flozell Adams never learn?

5. Say what you want, but Roy Williams was the most unselfish player on the field last night. And he was never acknowledged by the booth for his key blocks.

4. Felix Jones often ran like he was retaining water. Caught from behind? Really, Felix. Marion proved why he's called the Barbarian.

3. Wonder how those fine tax paying citizens of Arlington feel about NBC repeatedly referring to Jerryworld as the "Palace in Dallas"?

2. I was afraid Tony Romo wasn't as good as I hoped. Last night didn't build my confidence either. Hey Tony, winners don't go sit alone and pout.

And the #1 biggest surprise...

Cage Dancers!

Once a Runner - Book Review

2009-09-20T12:18:00.003-05:00

Author John Parker, an attorney and contributing editor to magazines such as Outside, Runner's World and Running Times, updates his 1978 cult book "Once a Runner: A Novel" with a strong welcome from not only the running community, but the general public. Originally, the self-published book, was sold from the trunk of his car at road races and left in running stores to be sold for a commission, but quickly became required reading and a rite of passage for high school and collegiate track athletes. Serious amateur runners weren't far behind and well worn, dog-eared copies were passed from athlete to athlete.

But the book is not about running.

Yes, it uses running as a prop, but it's about love, friendship, a shinsei-like mentor, and mostly about hope and a rare passion toward a goal. A passion so powerful it drives a person to do things most would consider unhealthy. A focus causing lost love, self-endangerment and total disregard for all things considered secure. In short, a passion so strong it causes one to ignore inborn instincts of survival.

I'm drawn to it because it uses running to explain passion. And it uses running with enough accurate and technical details to not make a mockery of the endeavor, but to keep a serious runner engaged. However, being a runner is not a requirement to enjoy this book. One only needs a passion, or to have had a passion at one time.

Meaning most of us.

The story, like most foot races or other worthy sojourns , starts and ends in the same place. Similar to running a mile, a marathon or any distance in between, it builds slowly and methodically. Parker systematically develops his characters, locations and situations often by devoting a short chapter to each.

Close to the halfway point the pace quickens and many of the minor characters and sub-plots fade, leaving the spotlight to Quenton Cassidy (Parker's alter ego), the fictitious miler with a passion to run a sub 4 minute mile, and his mentor former Olympic gold medalist Bruce Denton. To keep the pace interesting a few sterotypical politicos and coaches are included in the mix, but they're simply "rabbits" bringing out the best of Cassidy and Denton and their passion.

The final chapters build to a sprint. Parker takes seven word-worthy pages to describe a four minute race. The pages left me with a clenched jaw, curled toes, and white knuckles. I was reading through watery eyes with a full-body isometric contraction, a chest thumping heart rate, climaxed by hyperventilation.

But I'm a runner. And this book is a perfect simile for running a distance race...

warm-up
start at a conservative pace
push the pace to a negative split
finish strong
empty the tank
cool-down

The original book was published the year I graduated high school. I became serious about running three years later and read everything I could get my hands on regarding running. How, in almost 30 years, have I miss this book?

And why hasn't Hollywood taken notice?

If you can find an original copy let me know...we'll deal, and you won't be sorry.

Once a Runner: A Novel; 275 pages; Hardcover; $24USD; available at most bookstores

I'm under pressure...my weekend picks

2009-09-09T20:21:00.002-05:00

Thursday night NFL make me feel a little stressed about the weekend picks, but here goes...

Pick these for upsets and sure money:

College ranks -
Ohio State(+6)over USC
UNT(+3)over Ohio

NFL -
Pitt over Tenn(+6)
Tam(+6) over Dallas
Mia(+4) over Atl

Top twenty ways President Obama is trying to shape our youth

2009-09-09T18:00:00.000-05:00

Can you believe O44 is trying to shape our youth with this agenda? Has another president set that precedent? (see what I did there?)

For those of you to busy to actually review yesterday's address to school children, I’ve pulled the twenty most important quotes from the four-minute read.

20. Pay attention to those teachers. Listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults.

19. Put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

18. Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer.

17. No matter what you want to do with your life - I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it.

16. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job.

15. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have.

14. Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up.

13. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

12. I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education - and to do everything you can to meet them.

11. Being successful is hard.

10. You won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

9. You can't let your failures define you - you have to let them teach you.

8. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave.

7. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

6. No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work.

5. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

4. Find an adult you trust - a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor - and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

3. When you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

2. I expect great things from each of you.

And the number one quote is:

Don't ever give up on yourself.

Now, would you really, really want your child to be influenced with this content…by the leader of our country? Some parents and ISDs should reconsider the taking of a stand.

Give it some thought.

T. Boone Pickens Punks Herschel Walker?

2009-09-04T08:00:00.008-05:00

Big 12 south pick of the week: OSU vs. Georgia(+4.5); take OSU and give the 4.5.

Why?

Several weeks ago T. Boone Pickens and Herschel Walker crossed paths at a weekend long party in Canada. Finding himself chit-chatting with the former Georgia Heisman Trophy winner, Boone steered the conversation toward week #1 of the NCAA football season. Here's a portion of their conversation...

TBP: How does Georgia view the season opener?
HW: Not very seriously.

Um...okay, Maybe Herschel doesn't follow Georgia football very closely (unlikely) or maybe he isn't familiar with Pickens' affiliation with OSU (likely). Anyway the next day when their paths crossed again...

TBP: Herschel, thanks for your honesty yesterday and your observation has been relayed to Stillwater.
HW: What do you mean?
TBP: It's now on the wall of the locker room.

Oops!

Bulldog fans, you can contact Walker at Herschel's Famous 34 Foods, 912.961.0002 or email him at hwrmi34@comcast.net.

And in other Big 12 South news, Carnac the Magnificent picks...

OU gives 22 to BYU, take OU and give
Baylor upsets favored Wake Forest
UT crushes UL-Monroe, don't worry about having to give 42
No line on Tech beating North Dakota (isn't ND a D2JUCO?), but give...oh, about 50 and take Tech
And my upset of the week, New Mexico upsets A&M (sorry about that, Jim)

Bucket List Addition: save a life

2009-09-03T12:15:00.003-05:00

It's easy with no risk, you can do it from the comfort of your home and best of all it's free.

Give yourself a reason to feel even better. Here's the link. Click on your state and you're on your way.

Go. Do it. Now. Then pass on the link.

Olympics.org - my new favorite commercial

2009-08-30T17:54:00.001-05:00

And from my new favorite commercial making people:

Track and Field World Championships: Rants and Raves

2009-08-24T19:20:00.009-05:00

While finally catching-up on my recorded TV (have I mentioned I love sports in HD?) I finished the Track & Field World Championships from Berlin. For the first time in my life, I gotta say I'm not impressed with the USA's team. NOTE: I use "team" loosely.

I first fell in love with running when I accidentally watched the Steeple Chase in my younger years, it's still my favorite event, albeit shown only at 3am on some god forsaken obscure cable channel.

This, of course, make me an authority and creditable source for commentary. So...uggh...let me....grunt...(stretch)...get...mmmmy...soapbox...out. Whewww! DAY-UM, it's dusty...cough.

OKAY, here we go!

I watched 6-4x100m relay heats including the finals, perhaps a total of 36 teams. Two teams were DQed...both of the talent rich USA teams. The best teams money can buy...and they couldn't pass the batons. (Please understand I've never ran the 4x100, but I distinctly remember relay runners learning the pass-the-baton skill in junior high, later perfecting it in high school.) These athletes are, for all practical purposes, professionals...IN THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS...and they couldn't pass the freakin' baton!

What's. The. Problem.

I'll tell you what the problem is. It's sponsorship. It's high profile coaches. It's managers. It's agents. It's TV. It's endorsements. It's D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N.

These problems go back almost a decade. Team USA relay teams have had no philosophy, or even goal, of cohesiveness. Check the records, they almost always win the gold or they post a DNF, mostly DNF. Could it be because every athlete has their own personal coach, trainer, agent, doctor and manager. Perhaps no time for that darn skills practicing. One only has to listen to a few "team" interviews to read between the selfish lines. Here are a few examples:

In response to the question "Is this (dropping the baton) frustrating?" Carmelita Jeter replies, "No, it's not frustrating. We're a team of four." Analysis: If, in the finals of the world championships, you drop the baton and you're not frustrated, you're not, and never will be a champion. A team of four? Ummm, last I heard there were also alternates on your team, Carmelita. And BTW...a real champ accepts responsibility, due or not.
In the same interview teammate Lauryn Williams says, "We'll live to die another day." Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot? You're planning on doing this again?
Williams also states, "This team has good Karma with each other and we have good chemistry. We train together (duh) and we ride every where together." I'm still scratching my head.
The men's representative, Davis Patton (who didn't "technically" drop the baton, but was guilty of passing out of the zone...an even more rookie mistake) responded to the question Where do you go from here? by saying, "We'll move on and try to do our best." Hmmmm, isn't that like a professional basketball player saying, "We're going to try to get to the playoffs."?

Whatever happened to the leaders saying "I guarantee it!" (Tony Romo, I'm looking at you.)

From the get-go I've been a big supporter for these "amateur" athletes to be able to make a comfortable living and still be full-time athletes - not having to have a part-time job to make ends meet and also be furnished a future after athletics. However, in this case we've certainly allowed a veer in an unproductive direction. Perhaps a closer look at Terrence Mahon's total immersion distance running Mammoth Track Club would be beneficial for Team USA relays.

Otherwise, and you can mark my words, if the 2016 Olympics is awarded to Chicago we should anticipate a few embarrassing situations.

And one more thing...Team USA coaches - please get these athletes a little assistance/training on how to be an interviewee.

Enough about relays, now for the for the fun stuff and event musings...

New girl crush = Jen Rhines
When I first glimpsed at Jamaica's unis I thought, "HEY!, why is John Deere sponsoring them?"

Was I wrong or is it just the country-boy in me? You decide.

Is Mammoth Lake, CA the new Eugene, OR?
Is it sexist of me to giggle when I see the Brazilian women's team with BRA across their chest? Yeah, I'm about thirteen-years-old.
Oops, another girl crush.
I love multi-loop marathon courses, they're so spectator friendly...and motivating.
Instead of the marathon having water stops, Berlin had "refreshment" stations.
Why are the Kenyans and Ethiopians so smooth?
How did the Jamaicans get so fast?
When did the Germans become so humble?
What causes the US relay teams to be so arrogant?
Nothing, I mean nothing, is more attractive than a female runner.
Sexy
Flexy
When describing the race pace, if an announcer says, "Slow is an understatement." Shouldn't that mean it's a fast pace?
The men's 5000m finals was exciting and rough. Reminds me of NASCAR and swappin' paint. (swappin' sweat?) Not to mention the bloody shins from spike marks.
The women's 1500m made the men's 5000 look like infants in a sandbox. Girls can be mean. When the leader was pushed to the ground I was thinking roller derby.
They're in Germany, but the commands are in English...with a German accent. Commands in German would sound so much more appropriate and official. Zerkratzen! Stellen! Gehen!

Knowing how us Yanks like to keep score, the first place US wins 10 gold medals while Jamaica runs a close second with 7 golds. Itty-bitty Jamaica?

Aside...NBC did a great job showing off Berlin. It's such a beautiful city, rich in history, and the camera work was fantastic. I now love Berlin in HD.

Wacky Things to Do With a Heart Rate Monitor

2009-08-22T16:44:00.001-05:00

Hmmm...boredom do ya think? How about wearing a HR monitor while sleeping?

Click to enlarge

Easily discernible is the sleep phase of REM. A few facts of physiology:

REM occupies 20-25% of a nights sleep
HR is irregular
REM phases start out brief at the beginning of the night and are longer toward the end
Usually 4 or 5 periods of REM each night

Given these fact and applied to the above graphic, I think we'll all conclude I'm a normal.

Yeah, whateve...

Jerryworld - First Look

2009-08-21T21:52:00.005-05:00

Have I mentioned I love sports in HD? And is 1080p really any better than 720p? I can't imagine it being. A few musings from Cowboyland and the finest sports stadium in the known universe.

First possession of the game is a 12 minute drive culminating in a touchdown for the Cowboys. I like it.
Joe Buck needs to learn the difference between a end around and a reverse. IJS
Marion Barber could start for any NFL team. Felix Jones, I'm not so sure.
Cowboys to watch...Austin Miles, Sam Hurd.
I hope Tony Romo is better than I think.
Quote of the game #1 - "Jerry Jones is the P. Diddy of the NFL."
The Cowboys defense worries me. On the upside, the backups are as good as the starters.
I must disagree with Troy Aikman...Vince Young isn't very good. Yeah, I said that.
On the flip side, if anything happens to Romo, the Cowboys are in deep trouble, too. Kitna isn't very good either.
What rocket surgeon determined 90 feet was high enough for a video screen. FIY...that's the distance from homeplate to 1st base.
Quote of the game #2 - Head Ref: "False start, everybody but the center." Aikman's retort: "He's givin'em the business."

All in all, impressive play by the Cowboys. The Titans looked better last week. I'll stick with my prediction of 9-7 season, 3rd in the division, for the Cowboys

Thinking About Death and My Last Meal

2009-08-21T12:00:00.011-05:00

No, I haven't been listening to too much Bleu Edmondson lately, but I have recently had the opportunity to witness two people, close to me, approaching the threshold of death. It's a blessing and a burden.

A blessing for many reasons, the most important to me is being able to watch the process with an attempt to bring comfort, pleasure and happiness...and to truly get to know them.

A burden though, it is, watching them struggle with simple day-to-day tasks...the frustration, pain, disappointment and often confusion.

I've said to my immediate family and a close friend or two that I couldn't bear to live that way. Just "knock me in the head" or "shoot me".

But I've given that request some deeper thought and tempered it with a bit of modification, including my last meal request.

So let the record show...

First of all, here's how to tell when the moment is upon us:

I've developed a simple equation. When my "joy for living" < "degree of burden on others" = the teeter-tot has tip toward "my time to go". If I'm not able to do the simple math, please, someone, help me out (guilt-free, of course). But don't just knock me in the head or shoot me (pain potential with a bad outcome is too risky), instead how about a handful of pain pills, bottle of ice cold vodka and 24 hours of privacy.

Of course, following my last meal, which is...

Aperitif:
Vodka Tonic w/lime - Tito's, please

Amuse Bouche:
Chocolate Bacon

Appetizer:
Spider (softshell crab) roll
Bottle of Dom Perignon

1st Course:
Rockshrimp Risotto cakes, cilantro cream sauce and ancho aioli
Glass of Kendall-Jackson Reserve Chardonney

2nd Course:
Small plate of BBQ pork ribs, a fried chicken thigh, mom's potato salad and baked beans
Ice-cold Shiner Bock beer

1st Intermezzo:
Lime Sherbet

3rd Course:
Chicken fried rib eye, jalapeno cream gravy (heavy on the black pepper), roasted garlic mashed potatoes, breaded okra/squash and yeast roll with butter
Another ice-cold Shiner Bock

2nd Intermezzo
Orange Sherbet

Dessert:
An assortment of Swedish chocolates handmade by Swedish triathlete Lisa Norden; a selection of dessert tapas handmade by Brazilian volleyballer Maria Clara-Carol
Another bottle of Dom Perignon

Digestifs:
Lisa and Maria

Finale'
Fifth of ice cold Tito's Vodka and a handful of Demerol

Almost makes one look forward to jogging the victory lap to the other side...

Why David Feherty is My Favorite Golf Analyst

2009-08-19T10:36:00.008-05:00

Besides having the best job in the world and an accent that melts most women, the dude has a way with words. And he pulls no punches...even when talking about Tiger.

Examples of my favorite Fehertyism from the PGA Championship.

"The wind has vanished." Eh, hmm...Dave, the wind is invisible. IJS
"He decided to go with the chicken stick." -on Tiger electing to use an iron off the tee to a narrow fairway.
"It's not often you see a player of this caliber hit four incredibly rotten shots in a row." -on Vijay Singh's 6th hole (Saturday) performance that initiated an ugly meltdown lasting into Sunday's round.

And my personal favorite:

"I've given up not thinking he can't get there, so yeah, he might get there." (aside: What the what?) -on Tiger hitting a big hook trying to reach the green from the deep rough 189 yards away. (Outcome: he got there.)

Mise en Place (9-18-09) - Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot

2009-08-18T07:22:00.006-05:00

1. This guy was getting some kind of drunk. But I still don't get how the vic can hit the front windshield, go over the roof and smash through the rear window, and land in the backseat. Either I missed that part of physics class (highly likely) or there could be something else to the story.

2. Just because you drive a Bentley doesn't mean you have class. But the vic's husband/passenger just sits around and watches his wife get beat-up by two guys because one SAID he had a gun. Either chivalry is really dead (highly unlikely) or again, I think there must be something else to the story.

3. And if the above bad guys aren't bad enough, apparently it just getting harder to ID the real bad guys. This is bad, real bad...nefarious infiltration, I'd say. But come on, a police officer's badge getting stolen, or an assault rifle with 15 clips of ammo, or body armor? I think this one's going to be developing, too.

You can now resume your life, but listen-up. Ya'll be careful out there.

Roasted Potatoes and Honey Mustard Recipes - don't mix together

2009-08-12T21:26:00.006-05:00

Because of popular request, okay one request. This is for you Dana.

Oven Roasted New Potatoes

Enough small (about the size of a golf ball) red potatoes for 2 servings, scrubbed

1 tbsp canola or olive oil (not xv)

Seasoning mix:

2 tbsp paprika

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

2 tsp kosher

1 tsp fresh ground black pepper

1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp dried thyme

¼ tsp cayenne

Rub thyme and oregano between thumb and fingers to pulverize, mix in all the other ingredients.

Preheat oven to 350; cut potatoes in quarters; in a large mixing bowl toss potatoes with oil; season with mix, aggressively; spread on cookie sheet to one layer thick.

Roast in oven about 30 minutes or until outside is slightly crispy and inside is cooked through. Season with S&P if needed.

Better than You Can Buy and Simply Fantastic Honey-Mustard Sauce

6 fl oz mayo – homemade is best, but Hellman’s works fine (don’t use anything else)

4 fl oz whole grain mustard (Dijon or yellow will due) – whole grain taste and looks best

2 fl oz honey (the cheap stuff in a bear is fine) you may adjust quantity to satisfy your sweet tooth

1 tbsp crisp white wine

Combine all and whisk well. Refrigerate in an airtight jar and it will keep until you eat it all…usually a few days for me.

Makes 12.5 fl oz…duh

Being Flexitarian - Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Chicken

2009-08-11T14:12:00.002-05:00

Sometimes (okay, more often than not) I amaze myself. Either I'm incredibly gifted or dumbed down dense...take your pick.

Since the first week of June I've been mostly pescetarian with an occasional "meat" day, usually once a week. Label me flexitarian. And, by the way,pescetarianism isn't especially difficult, it's a nutritional sweet-spot I can highly recommend.

My meat days have usually embraced my favorite, the hamburger, but lately the burger's become boring, disappointing, and frankly I'm afraid I just don't like'em anymore. So sad, but I guess it's better to have a pleasant memory than a wicked realization. Sigh...I miss you pleasant memory, you know who you are.

Back on point...

So I venture out of my comfort zone. And into the wild of chicken thighs, because I'm a leg and thigh guy, breasts just don't do it for me. Besides, breasts are sooooo 1980's. With that thought in mind I created, possibly, the greatest chicken dish of ever and ever...the bacon wrapped stuffed chicken thigh. Here are the deets to serve two hungry runners:

The grub:
6 thin, cheap slices of bacon
1 chicken thigh, de-boned and skinless
1/2 C chopped mushrooms of your choice
1 tbsp xvoo
1 small clove garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced red onion
1 tbsp fine dice red bell pepper
1 tbsp white cheddar cheese, grated or small cubed
1 tbsp of your favorite BBQ sauce, I use this
1 tbsp of your favorite honey-mustard dressing

The skills:
1. Over medium heat slow saute the mushrooms, onion and RBP in the xvoo until well caramelized, add the garlic and cook until you can smell the garlic, usually about 3 more minutes. Add the BBQ sauce and remove from heat. Mix in the cheese, taste and adjust seasoning. You just made the stuffing.

2. Pound or butterfly the chicken thigh as thin as possible without tearing. Dust with fresh ground pepper.

3. Make a lattice work with the strips of bacon like this:

4. Spoon on the stuffing like this:

5. Place chicken on bacon, wrap and place on roasting pan with lattice side up.

6. Roast in 350 degree oven to internal temp of 165 or about 50 minutes.

7. Rest 10 minutes under foil. Slice on diagonal bias, drizzle with honey mustard, serve with oven roasted new potatoes, crusty bread and a side salad.

It's Football Season, WooHoo!!

2009-08-10T07:44:00.004-05:00

Last night's NFL Hall of Fame Game marks the starting of the 2009-10 football season. Normally I'm not a big fan of pre-season games, but for some reason I'm really excited about this season. With that in mind here are a few thoughts spurred from last night's game.

If the first series fake punt, fake reverse and bootleg for a touchdown is any indication, this season is going to be spectacular.
Is it just my eyes going bad or did the referees orange stripped shirts look to have a pink tint from a distance? Even in HD. I respect history as much as the next guy, but, NFL, not every thing in the past is a good idea. I consider the orange stripped shirts a bad idea.
Speaking of refs...the head ref had all the excitement of a mortician.
The NBC production crew was spot-on; the broadcast booth had some cobwebs.
I've loved John Madden ever since he coached Oakland. Loved him even more as a color commentator, he revolutionized the booth. But for some reason I don't think I'll miss him much this season. Good luck in retirement, John.
TO = 2fer2
This will be Vince Young's pivotal season. It's now or never, baby.
Replays on NBC are being called "NBCeeIT". Lame. Must have been a rush job from a summer intern. Bet it doesn't last through September, but maybe they can sell it, on a discount, to ABC for the winter Olympics.
Full disclosure - I'm a huge Cowboys fan. My season's prediction for Dallas = 9-7, 3rd in the Eastern Division.

Mise en Place - 8-6-09 - Sinner's Edition

2009-08-06T07:35:00.010-05:00

1. Telling your prison colleagues you're doing life for the hate crime of beating up the Ice Cream Man won't bode well for you or your two white-trash friends. The devil has to be especially proud of your section in hell. When I read about the victim's attitude, I immediate committed a deadly sin...envy. Thanks, Mr. Victor McDonald, we should all have such kindness. PS...I love ice cream.

2. I quit smoking 29 years ago, to the day. (Okay, I made up the "to the day" part). And luckily I have no desire to smoke again, but if I did I'd probably be smoking an eCigarette. Who thinks up this kind of deadly stuff? Guilty of another sin...wrath. Two more generations and we'll eradicate this scourge to society, just need a bit of patience.

3. What is it about the heat? I can't turn around without hearing someone complain (news flash people-it's August). Yet the minute it hits triple digits I feel an overwhelming desire to strip down to the bare necessities, grab my running shoes and bang-out 8k or so. Hummm...the most serious sin...pride. I really do have a pocket full of humility, it's just in my other britches.

Excuse me while I meditate with this old friend.

Being Flexitarian - Losing My Meer-ginity

2009-08-02T12:01:00.020-05:00

I must be one of the few people who have never had a Meersburger. This I feel certain of because yesterday at 1:30pm half of the world was in line to be seated in this goldmine themed, one-off restaurant where they serve burgers on tin goldminer pans (question: are tinpans "food safe"?). Heck, even Bon Appetit magazine (one of my personal favs) has ranked them as having the 3rd best hamburger in the USA.

The line for a table serpentined, in an ad hoc and disorderly fashion, through the large waiting area crisscrossing itself at least twice,stretching down the steps, out the door and ending on the sidewalk two shops away. Reportedly it was TWO hour wait...for a hamburger! I don't get it. Well, I did get it, but "to-go" and still had a 30 minute wait. This is a place where the staff doesn't rush the patrons or themselves or apparently the kitchen. During the 20+-minute stretch I waited for my order to be prepared only a party of 4 and a party of 3 were seated.

On to the construction of the cheeseburger ($7.35): The bun was run-of-the-mill plain white bread bun, barely toasted. On the bottom was a conservative swipe of yellow mustard, one piece of green leaf lettuce, two (just two) small dill pickle slices, one thin slice of red onion, one silver-dollar sized slice of tomato (wtf), a thin well-seasoned 1/4 lb. patty was cooked perfectly to medium, slice of American cheese and topped with the other half of the bun and smashed (intentionally) together.

Let us now analyze these components from the base upwards.
1. The bun wasn't discernibly toasted, to me toasting is beyond a necessity, it's a requirement
2. A perfect amount of the proper mustard
3. The lettuce was a bit ancient (slimy around the edges) and shouldn't have been served
4. Two miserly dill pickle slices? luckily I don't much care for'em
5. The red onion was the perfect amount and the perfect thickness
6. Since it's during the peak of tomato season the thin tomato slice (singular) was an embarrassment
7. As previously stated, the meat patty was griddled and seasoned perfectly
8. Serving only American cheese was no surprise (given they're adjacent to an Army training base), it's melting ooze seeped deep into the patty (does that sound like food porn?)
9. And they proudly "smash" the burger parts together explaining it allows the flavors to "mingle". I suspect it's smashed in an attempt to make the burger hold together. And there begets a problem.

Given that watery produce is the foundation on an untoasted bun, it makes for a soggy, sloppy, slippery burger which could more easily be remedied by wrapping the burger (and toasted bun of course) in traditional paper (but who wants to waste 3 seconds to do that? aside...its a skill any line cook can learn in 2 minutes). The paperwrap would also make a more "user-friendly" burger. The to-go burgers were simply placed in a Styrofoam clam-shell container.

Sorry Bon Appetit{epic failure}...not 3rd best in the USA. This burger wouldn't make the top 50 in Dallas. And I'm not sure it would make the top 20 within a 10-mile radius.

Now for the sides: Freedom Fries ($1.69) - do people really still call'em this? Let it go, puh-leez. Flacid fastfood fries fried from frozen. Limp. Greasy. And not one grain of seasoning. A worse order of fries could not be made. Ever. Of the sizable order I ate 3 fries, Rosco turned away from my FF offers after the first taste...not worth the calories or the greasy fingers...especially since only one napkin was given per to-go order and I foresaw having to use it on the burger.

Actually in hindsight, if they'd've just taken the money and said, "Hey, our fries suck so bad we're just going to charge you, but also do a favor and not put'em in the bag." I would now think more highly of the Meer's crew.

Onion Rings ($2.58) - these were the highlight of the meal, grease-less, thick cut, crispy battering and seasoned just right. Perhaps the best I've ever eaten. No, I take that back...these were the best onion rings I've ever eaten!

Despite the spot-on onion rings and the well-prepared meat patty, I felt let down, cheap and used after my Meers experience. It was nowhere near as pleasant, euphoric or climatic as expected, promised and dreamed.

On a 1-10 scale with 10 being Valerie Bertinelli, and 1 being Monica Lewinsky, I'm rating Meers a 2 or Pre-Jenny Craig Kirstie Ally.

I see no reason for a return visit.

Customer Service - Going, Going, Gone?

2009-07-31T21:05:00.007-05:00

Jeez...I'm not a curmudgeon or anything, but I do like a small back-pat occasionally.

Several weeks ago I was in my favorite(used to be) running store...to remain nameless. I was only browsing and wanting to pick up a minor (read: inexpensive) item and didn't pay much attention to the fact that I was the only one in the store and NO ONE asked to "help me".

Hey, fine with me. I know everything anyway. However, it was unusual, given the friendliness I've become accustom to in this certain store. Let me just add, this isn't a "big box" store, it's a store that caters to runners and triathletes. Somewhat upscale.

And I love'em mostly because they are strong supporters of the DFW running community.

Anyway I found my iBungees, checked out and paid. The staffperson ended the transaction with, "There you go."

So I went.

Funny how "Thanks so much, come back and see us" wasn't included (in some form).

I thought I'd forgotten about it. Heck, it was only a $4.95 purchase. But...

Today I returned for another pair of iBungees. Although 4 staff were present, and only one other customer (checking out...with 2 folks behind the counter), not a greeting, not an acknowledgment.

No problem. Remember, I know everything.

I find my thing-y, wait for the unbusy person to say "can I help you?" or something like that. N-A-D-A.

When I approach the counter, she DOES take my pesos and leaves me with this exchange...

She: you want a sack for that?
Me: no thanks.
She: (hands me my laces and receipt) You're good to go.

Not trying to read to much into these transactions but my subliminal common thread between the interactions is...

"You" and "Go".

And folks want to blame 43 or O44 for the economy woes...maybe they should look in the mirror.

Perhaps Luke's will welcome me back? Developing.

My Favorites - Easy Ceviche

2009-07-26T18:44:00.006-05:00

I'm so hooked on this I should probably join a support group or a 12-step program.

1/4 lb peeled, deveined, raw shrimp (use the small cheap ones, or get the expensive large ones and chop them up, whateve...)
1/4 lb scallops (again use the small cheap ones, or ....)
juice of one lime
juice of one lemon
juice of one orange (when I'm feeling fancy I supreme it and add the leftover juice)
3 tbsp of finely minced red onion
1 clove of garlic mashed to a paste
1 small red bell pepper, minced (extra points for using a yellow one)
3 tbsp finely diced cucumber (peeled and seeded)
3-4 slices of pickled jalapenos, minced, add a splash of the jap juice
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper

Mix all of the above, cover and refrigerate for at least one hour, but no more than three, stirring occasionally

Allow mixture to sit at room temperature for an additional 30 minutes, then drain juices (mix juices with shot, or two, of tequila if you wish. Awe! Some!)

Add:
1 medium tomato, seeded and diced
1 small avocado, diced (save the skin and pit for another purpose...not sure what)
2 small radishes, sliced paper thin
2 large tbsp of minced cilantro
2 leaves of fresh basil, minced
2 sprigs of fresh thyme, stemmed and minced
add more minced cilantro (I love cilantro)
If you have fresh mint, add a bit; a smig of honey is also acceptable
splash of xvoo
salt and pepper to taste

Serve on a sturdy tortilla chip or wrap with a warm, home-made corn tortilla. Your choice.

Serves two as a light entree.

Hello from Saudi Arabia

2009-07-26T16:46:00.004-05:00

Or is it west Texas?

I just gotta quit sleeping while I'm driving.

My Favorites - Greatest Food Memories

2009-07-23T21:36:00.003-05:00

I know, bagillions to pull from...and this was a tough list to assemble, but here goes.

10. A perfectly grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup

9. Cooking over a campfire.

8. Warm oatmeal cookies with ice cold milk

7. Eating anything in the field where it was grown

6. Grocery shopping before a predicted inclement weather day

5. My first crème brulee

4. The sizzle of food on a hot grill

3. Popping the cork on a bottle of champagne

2. The smell of fresh ground coffee

And my favorite food memory is...

Cooking for and eating with a loved one.

Tom Watson - One Last Word

2009-07-21T16:14:00.002-05:00

Damn, I wished I would've (could've) written this.

My New Man-crush - Tom Watson

2009-07-18T15:19:00.007-05:00

My favorite golf week - The Open Championship (or as we yanks call it, The British Open).

And you know how much I love some underdog/old folk's performance (scroll down a bit). This is classic.

Tom Watson, two months shy of his 60th birthday, is leading the pack. Coolly leading the pack...can you say "working smarter, not harder"?

His golden comment about leading going into the 3rd round..."That's pretty cool at [age] 59."

Watson has won this tournament 5 times, including the "Duel in the Sun" 32 years ago. The oldest winner was Old Tom Morris in 1867 and he was 46-years-old. Will Old Tom Watson take his place?

This. Is. Remarkable.

So I humbly nominate as the lead actor, for the movie version of this story,

William H. Macy

to play (separated at birth)Tom Watson

My (un)Favorites - Equal Opportunity Post

2009-07-15T22:15:00.009-05:00

To satisfy a few requests for a counter opinion to this post I've taken on a more difficult task.

Disliking things takes so much energy, and I'm such a low effort kinda guy, I try to avoid it. But I do have a few things that irritate me. Not saying I'm unguilty of many of the following, just trying to identify and steer clear. (Is "unguilty" a word? I unknow. I could be unsober and unworried about it.)

So here's my list of the most unfavorite things I can think of.

25. Overcooked food
24. Cheating at golf
23. Off-color jokes
22. Anonymous, snarky comments
21. Dropped internet connections
20. Canned Asparagus
19. Poorly written recipes
18. Bicyclist who don't obey the "rules of the road"
17. People who yell into their hands-free device in the parking lot
16. Injuries
15. The F-bomb (unless it is caused by an acute injury)
14. Runners who blow their nose "on the go"
13. Those who think speaking loudly and slowly overcomes all linguistic barriers
12. Being late
11. Litterbugs
10. When Braum's runs out of lime sherbet (whiskey, tango, foxtrot, dude(ette)?)
9. Unanswered emails
8. Non-friends
7. Athletes who over-celebrate after doing their job
6. Hearing conversations in the theater
5. Shopping carts that self-vector
4. Destructive criticism
3. Belligerent behavior
2. Gnats
1. Stepping on chewing gum in a hot parking lot

All in all, most are easy to avoid if you pay attention...except for the unsurrendering gnats.

Reason to not be a celebrity chef - #1

2009-07-15T14:23:00.002-05:00

How would you like to have this one for a big sis? Annoying.

Sports Break Moment - Current Event Style

2009-07-14T13:00:00.010-05:00

Michael Phelps returns in high style by smoking the world record in the 200m butterfly.

The PGA plows through the John Deere classic (yawn) on the way to the British Open championship.

Romessica (Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson) finally call it quits...on her birthday eve. Lets review, several weeks ago Jess gives Tony a $100K ski boat for his birthday. Tony returns the favor by giving her the boot for her's. Life's not fair is it Jess?

Tour de France - after riding 850+ miles over eight straight days, including two tough days through the mountain what does Lance and his team do on a day off? Hook up with some other competitors and ride 3+hours. Crazy.

The burning question: Why does ESPN think poker is a sport?

And finally...I mostly love a good underdog story and a close second is a story about an aging athlete making good (hi, Dara, Nolan, Brett). The only thing better is a story about an aging underdog making good (I hope to be looking at you soon, Lance).

But this story is about Tim Wakefield. Tim played college baseball at Florida Tech. He set school records and was named a two-time MVP as a 1st baseman and was drafted in the middle rounds of the free agent draft. Being sent to single A ball for the Pittsburgh Pirates he promptly took a professional pounding. Apparently he had the problem of always throwing a knuckle ball around the infield, he also lost his once feared hitting ability. His coach finally told him he'd never make it to double A ball.

That's where it got interesting. He elected to stay in extended spring training one season...a certain career killing move. Usually.

While warming-up before practice the pitching coach notice him throwing a knuckle ball and ask him to toss a few more, then moved him to the mound for a few pitches. Soon after, in a coaches meeting, the manager mentioned he was cutting Wakefield. The pitching coach ask if he'd seen Wakefield's knuckle ball.

One thing led to another and Tim changed from 1st baseman to pitcher saying, "I just wanted to say I tried everything I could to make it."

Tim was promptly traded to St. Louis, then back to the Pirates where he would win the NL Rookie of the Year. He came within few innings of being a shoe-in for NL MVP. Then he developed a few control "issues" and injuries he couldn't shake. Two years later he was cut by the pirates, but promptly picked up by the Boston Red Sox. That was in 1995.

And he now throws a 68 MPH knuckleball almost every pitch. That in the land of 98 MPH fastballs, 92 MPH sliders and 85 MPH change-ups. He also throws a 75 MPH fastball and a 60 MPH curve (sad even for a small town high school pitcher).

But, he currently ranks 3rd in all time wins with the Red Sox, just behind Cy Young and Roger Clements, and only Clements has more wins than Wakefield at Fenway Park...95-91. I'm sure Wakefield will hold that record before the season's end.

And most importantly, Tim Wakefield has been nominated for the Roberto Clemente Award 7 times. The Roberto Clemente Award goes to the player who "best exemplifies the game of baseball, sportsmanship, community involvement and the individual's contribution to his team."

Tonight Tim plays in his first All Star game...at 42-years-old.

...you are now free to return to your original programming.

My favorites - The Things I Love

2009-07-11T20:46:00.013-05:00

I love lots of stuff. Most stuff in general I love. But in trying to narrow down what makes me extra happy, here's my top 25 list:

25. My favorite pair of jeans
24. Power naps
23. Properly cooked French fries
22. Voting
21. New running shoes
20. HDTV
19. A bonsai tree
18. Anticipation
17. Fresh-baked cookies
16. Raw foods
15. Wide-open spaces
14. Having a correct answer
13. Random acts of kindness
12. Fresh made salsa with a warm tortilla
11. Being barefoot
10. Ice cold beer on a hot afternoon
9. Sleeping in a tent during a storm
8. A deep massage
7. Clean sheets and a good book
6. A smile
5. The truth
4. Yoga
3. Finding "the zone"
2. A good friend
1. My momma

Google me this...

2009-07-11T20:28:00.002-05:00

Does anyone really use the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button on a Google search? IJS.

Tour de France - Bold Predictions Come True

2009-07-10T22:17:00.003-05:00

Kinda.

What a wild card the Italian, Nocentini, is. His fifteen minutes of fame won't last long, but still...hats-off.

As (I) predicted, Astana's lead rider, Contador made up the 19 seconds he trailed Lance and increased (decreased?) it by 2. He's now in a secure 2nd place and six seconds from the yellow jersey. Lance is in third and eight seconds off the lead.

BTW...Contador, pedaling up a Cat H, into a headwind, after 220km (roughly 135 miles) was a rocket. He left the peleton like the Roadrunner ta-ta-ing Wily E. Coyote.

Also as (I) predicted, Armstrong played a strong presence as a supporting rider. And he could, arguably, be considered the strongest (and most relaxed) rider in the peleton. Wily as a coyote, he is. Mark my words.

Team Astana is holding #2(Contador +:06), #3(Lance +:08), #4(Levi +:39) and #6 (Kloden +:54) places, for individuals, and 1st overall.

Tomorrow's 110 mile mountainous stage should play toward Astana's favor and they have a good chance of finishing in 4 of the top 5 spots...baring an accident on the wildly long downhills.

Quick side note: Maillot jaune(the yellow jersey wearer), Fabian Cancellara, had a flat...then another, in today's stage (dude, where were your teammates?) which put him well back in the pack. He actually almost had a collision with the peleton's trailing cars on the course...one of the times he was descending at 55+ MPH. Very tough luck.

Eat Local - Otherwise...drive-bys kill

2009-07-10T15:48:00.001-05:00

Think mom and pops. Please.

Funniest press release ever.

Tour de France - Bold Prediction

2009-07-09T22:03:00.003-05:00

This thing is shaping into a very cool soap opera, if you're following closely...

Tomorrow's stage 7 will take the riders from Barcelona into France with the first of many major climbs. Several cat 4 climbs(next to the most difficult) and finishing with a cat "H" ( Hors-Categorie, the highest difficulty rating).

I predict team Astana's point rider, Alberto Contador, will win the stage and take the yellow jersey. Lance will remain in the top five, accompanied by Levi and Andreas. Team Astana will remain as leaders in the team rankings.

It may seem minor now, but Lance will be (self-)regulated into a support role.

The fat lady isn't even warming her vocal cords yet, so just wait and watch this thing unfold.

Tour de France - it's still early

2009-07-08T18:54:00.003-05:00

But Lance is looking in top form. They only have about 2200 miles and 18 or so days to go, but he's certainly making his mark.

Even ESPN's Rick Reilly who penned this touching (and my all time favorite) sports essay has taken notice today with his column, the Life of Reilly.

For those to busy (or lazy) to read the column here's the money graf...

"But hearts are melting toward the old guy, even French ones. One French reporter stood up Tuesday and said, "Lance, in four days, you have brought more excitement back to the Tour de France than we had in four years here." When the French start admiring Armstrong, you know the worm has turned."

Lance, stay strong, Livestrong.

Hey Ya'll! Photoshop? You decide.

2009-07-07T21:57:00.005-05:00

I'm no big fan, but this is so unreasonably cartoonish I just had to post a comparison...

Before

After

Ho-Lee Mo-Lee!

2009-07-04T07:37:00.002-05:00

Corner of Beltline and Marsh...
Makes me long for #3.

Tour de France - Lance's Time Trial Wheels

2009-07-03T23:03:00.003-05:00

Awesome ride it is.
Tomorrow Lance launches at about 10:17am CST. 4:17pm French time.

Tour de France: Intimidation or Harassment?

2009-07-03T08:53:00.001-05:00

You decide.

Roselyne Bachelot, get some class.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot - Sandwich Edition

2009-07-01T17:16:00.007-05:00

What is it with sandwiches? Could it be the summer holiday weekend approaching?

Yesterday it was the Voodoo Doughnut Burger

and today it's a Waffle BLT.
I guess the scary thing is both of these look and sound good to me, so what does tomorrow bring? The Great Carnac predicts...

A Turkey Club on Cranberry Loaf, sub cilantro pesto for the mayo.

My Favorites - Blackberry Cobbler

2009-07-01T11:17:00.008-05:00

Yesterday I picked up my second batch of blackberries at the farmer's market. They were so much sweeter than the first batch which leads me to believe the season is close to peaking. The question "what to do?"(other than eating them all before you return home) may enter your mind.

So I offer...

Easiest Blackberry Cobbler in the History of Ever
2-3 cups blackberries (blueberries, raspberries or skinned, chopped peaches work, too)
1 1/4 cups sugar (divided)
1 cup AP flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp kosher salt (or 1/2 tsp table salt)
1 cup 2% milk (actually anything from skimmed to heavy cream will work just fine)
1/2 cup melted, unsalted butter (1 stick), margarine or salted butter also work...this recipe ain't picky

In a small mixing bowl combine berries and 1 cup of sugar, mix well and let set for about 30 minutes at room temp. Stir once or twice during the 30 minutes. Try not to mash the berries, but a syrup base should develop.

Preheat oven to 350. Combine the flour, baking powder, remaining 1/4 cup sugar and salt in a larger mixing bowl. Whisk together. Melt the butter in a 9" loaf pan.

Whisk the milk into the dry ingredients until completely smooth. Pour in the melted butter and mix until combined. The batter should be of a thin consistency. Pour the batter back into the loaf pan. Spoon the berry mixture on the batter, but DON'T mix.

Place the loaf pan in the center of the oven and bake for about an hour, check at 40 minutes. When the immediate area is filled with the beautiful smell of baked blackberries you'll know it's done. Fresh out of the oven it should still be a bit jiggly in the center, but golden brown. Don't be alarmed if it cooks for longer than an hour. Cool in pan on a wire rack for about 30 minutes. Eat.

Bonus points if you top a portion with Blue Bell vanilla ice cream.

While you're waiting on the cobbler to bake...
lick the berry bowl.

Food, Inc - Digested Thoughts

2009-06-28T13:00:00.007-05:00

Call me naive. Okay, I'll save you the effort, I'm naive. I wanted to like, no love, this movie.

I was looking forward to an expose showing how cattle are stunned, bled-out and mechanically de-hided; how veal is mass produced with the baby calves being confined to small cages so to not use their muscles which promotes a more tender meat; how chickens live their full lives packed in small cages stacked 10 ft. high never seeing sunshine and are discarded, still alive to suffer a slow death, at the first sign of illness; how pigs are lined snoot-to-ham in single file to feed from each others feces because of their inefficient digestive tract; how ducks and geese are force fed grains to cause a swelling of fattiness in their liver to produce the prized foie gras. I want to know what happens in a packing plant, the nastiness, the conditions, the real story. How about following the graft from plant GM to USDA inspector/grader? I want reasons to swear off meat for the rest of my life. I want to know what happened to Shorty.

I was expecting to see how animals are mistreated in a mass production operation. I'm naive.

I was looking forward to a deeper understanding of how the mass production of crops is having a negative impact on our environment. How herbicides are creating new strains of undesirable and resistant, yet invasive plants; I want to know how new, more economic(but oxymoronically wasteful), farming methods and techniques are turning our nation's once rich and fertile farm land into a simple sterile growing medium. I wanted to know how raising corn and soy beans have affected the American diet causing an epidemic of obesity. I wanted it made clear, to all Americans, if we continue to "feed the world" as we are now doing, what long-term price is being paid.

I've always subscribed to the thought "give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime". Could that not have been at least constructively suggested by filmmaker Robert Kenner?

Again, I'm naive.

I was also expecting the issue of labor and lifestyle to be addressed. How under educated, commonly undocumented workers toil long hours at low wages. How they're often cheated of their wages and how they have no other options, no recourse, no health insurance and no chance for an improved future. I want to know how the few large corporate farms/developers are using genetically modified plants to not only intentionally incapacitate small, family farmers, but are controlling the global commodities market. I wanted an analysis of how small farm communities have been a host for the parasitic factory farms that continue to cause lifestyle decay and how farms that were once passed from parent to child are now forced to be sold to cover mortgages and other debt; and future farmers only option are to take low paying jobs the corporate farms create.

Overestimation on my part because I'm naive.

Instead Kenner elects to sit on the sidelines and throws darts at large corporations such as Monsanto, Tyson, Cargill and Conagra. Easy targets are they. So benign were the claims, representatives from the corporations wouldn't comment. Really, how hard is it to establish a point, especially with these topics, to get a corporate PR person to "at least" respond? These issues, labor reform, animal cruelty and environmental impact are current hot-button issues with a plethora of information and supporters. I'm calling it lazy filmmaking.

But I'm admittedly naive.

A couple high points of the film gave me hope. Michael Pollan was a consultant and his book Omnivore's Dilemma is heavily relied upon. And Polyface Farm in Virginia is given well deserved exposure showing exactly what can be done in a sustainable, organic and transparent operation. Polyface is also a major player in the book Omnivore's Dilemma. I highly recommend the read.

Perhaps I was expecting a movie version of Pollan's book. Naive thinking.

Can I recommend this film? Only for required curriculum in a basic nutrition course, but in a perfect world it be required viewing in every Junior High health class.

I do; however, recommend spending a few more bucks and time reading Pollan's Omnivore's Dilemma. You'll finish satiated and with much less naivety.

Here's a wrap-up with the most redeeming quote from the film:
"to eat well cost more than to eat poorly, to eat poorly cost more than to eat well"

Now, that's food for thought.

Michael Jackson (1958-2009) - RIP

2009-06-26T10:43:00.003-05:00

No matter how many jokes were made, no matter how much crazy and enigma he elected to pack in his baggage, no one can deny this man was a genius and a master musical talent.

Admit it or not, he touch most of our lives.

Here's a video (crappy quality) of him at Texas Stadium in Dallas...umm, Irving...in 1984 performing "Beat It". Not commonly known, one of my guitar heros Eddie VanHalen, wrote and recorded the guitar solo. This video documents the only time EVH performed with MJ on stage.

Did I Short Shorty?

2009-06-23T18:45:00.005-05:00

I know a few things.

Many who know me will say "a very few things", I concur. But let me get serious about something very dear to me...

I've worked, unwittingly, in most parts of the "farm/ranch-to-table" movement. Problem is it wasn't called "that" then.

I grew up riding a tractor, farming mostly wheat, raising cattle and breaking horses. I've spent several seasons on a harvest crew; several years working in a feedlot; implanted cattle with steroids and shot'em full of antibiotics; spent a year butchering in a meat market (still doing hanging beef then, thank you very much); a year of agro-science studies; worked closely with the acclaimed meat judging team from OSU; culinary school; and cooked along side two of Dallas' "celebrity" chefs.

I know what farm-to-table is, more so than most.

Regrets, I have many, but on the anticipatory eve of viewing the film "Food, Inc.", one is now standing proud. His name is Shorty.

Shorty was a hip-locked calf I delivered early one Sunday morning when I was eighteen-years-old. His mother died during the delivery and I, for the bargain-basement sum of fifteen dollars, was able to purchase Shorty. He was sickly, not expected to spend much time on this earth and I considered it a bargain from the twenty to thirty dollar going rate. After all I at least attempted to save him from being taken (alive) to the "dead pile". Fifteen Washingtons from a guy making $2.80/hr...pfffft.

I loaded him (encrusted in placenta) in the front seat of my 1970 Ford F-150 (mustard and white with cloth seats for those wanting to know) and took him home, stopping along the way at the feed supply to pickup formula and nursing bottles.

I taught the runty brown and white spotted calf to nurse by smearing my fingers with sugar and forcing them in his mouth. Shorty was a trooper. He learned quickly, he fed and grew...but always wanted to suckle my fingers.

When the time came I sold Shorty back to the feedlot for a princely sum of a few hundred dollars. The cash in my pocket eased the loss of my "pet".

For a short while...

The following weekend at the feedlot, when I was "walking pens" and looking for sick cattle or other things needing attention, I spotted Shorty and he spotted me. It turned to a nightmare that still occasionally haunts me.

Shorty charged, I froze. Just before the point of impact he skidded to a stop and opened his mouth, extended his neck and tongue wanting to suckle my fingers. He recognized me, he missed me. I obliged his wants, right there in pen #78.

Two days later was a day to "work" the cattle and included worming, hormones, antibiotics, earmarking, vaccination and castration. Pen #78 was on the short list.

My job for the day was running the squeeze chute, worming and castration.

I'll be honest, working cattle is not a pretty sight. There's blood and other bodily fluids, excrement, moaning, struggle and stench. And that's from the cowboys.

The cattle have it worse. Needles re-used, Bic lighters sized pill forced down their throat with an eighteen-inch stainless steel plunger, holes punched in their ears, red-hot branding irons, subcutaneous ear steroids, horn tips clipped to the point of spewing blood, and most cruelly, castrated with dull and unsanitary instruments.

I wept when Shorty came through the chute. Even the most hardened cowboys were moved, knowing that I had raised Shorty.

After that day everyone respected that any chore needed in pen #78 wasn't to be put on my to-do list.

Until...

*{The backstory - "Asphault Cowboys" (aka truck drivers that haul cattle) are a special group. They drive long hours and aren't able to "take a four or more hour break" because they have a "live load". They drive, they have a schedule, they're appreciated and accommodated.}

The call came in late one night that a driver was waiting on his load. I was told the cattle were sorted and waiting in a holding pen near the loading chute. All I needed to do was unlock the gates and load the cattle, in numbered groups, as the truck driver requested. Easy money. I thought.

In the largest group to be loaded on the bottom of the double-decker truck was an eight-hundred-something pound brown and white spotted steer from pen #78 still wanting to suckle my fingers. I had to prod him with a Hot Shot to get him to turn and move towards the ramp to the trailer and repeatedly prod him up the ramp as he continued to look back with a "whatssup" look in his eyes.

Want to know what happened next? Watch for my "Food, Inc." movie review tomorrow.

And folks laugh at a farmer's tan

2009-06-23T17:27:00.001-05:00

Whateva...

Grapes: You Like?

2009-06-23T08:34:00.003-05:00

I love grapes. If being hard-pressed to pick my favorite fruit (see what I did there), I bet it'd be grapes. Admittedly, I mostly enjoy mine fermented in long stemmed crystal (or a tumbler or a mug or best a box). However, when I eat'em straight I prefer the frozen variety.

Next time you're in the grocery store and reach for a bag or two of table grapes to casually toss in your basket you might consider thinking about this LA Times article.

Logistics Anyone?

2009-06-22T20:32:00.003-05:00

I'm all for cross-marketing, shared resources and other techniques to create a win-win partnership, until this...Did anyone give serious thought before putting a Beef Jerky sign in front of a porn shop?
Just. Not. Right.

U. S. Open - Strokes, Pokes and Notes

2009-06-21T22:12:00.005-05:00

A hacker's perspective of the U.S. Open:

Bethpage Black-best golf course name ever; take note thrash metal bands
NBC = all Tiger, all the time
how can a commentator say "that putt was perfectly struck" when it didn't go in?
Johnny Miller busted Al Roker's chops.
Phil M's pinstrip britches were cool.
I've seen better putting on a public course in Richardson.
Pro golfers (I'm looking at you, Tiger) dropping the f-bomb lowers your Q rating; asking your god to damn something you just did moves you to "within the leather" of hell.
Sound bites of the day - "just drop the club on it and poop it out", "hope he's not starting to leak oil", "how many balls to these guys have", "we're waiting on Tiger to finish so we can signoff".
Fantasy Twitter: thetiger @coach_butch you gotta opening? Need help, miss you.
I may be the only guy in the universe to have picked Tiger to NOT finish in the top ten, how'd that work out? (written on Sunday evening)
USGA...why not play the full eighteen on Monday?
Anyone else think Verve! is a sparkling wine?
Best golf story of the Open = David Duval

Guys Only: PMS alert-no more chocolate chip cookie dough

2009-06-21T21:55:00.005-05:00

Just when you think it's safe to eat...this kind of stuff comes along again:

A recall of chocolate chip cookie dough; sixty-six reported cases of sickness in twenty-eight states over a four month period doesn't scare me. Come on Wall Street Journal, give me the where, how and when. This stuff is easy to trace. Details, please.

Note to self: don't eat raw stuff (except sushi, carpaccio, oysters, tartar and ceviche).

Garnishes beware!

When Old Champions Get Lonely - Part II

2009-06-19T21:56:00.005-05:00

First Bernard Hinault, now on the forefront is Greg LeMond, and apparently the almost dead newspaper industry leader The Wall Street Journal.

If boredom affects you as it does me, take a minute to read this article from the WSJ, then read Lance's response which they won't publish without heavy editing.

WSJ, get classy or I'll pull you from my bookmarks.

Mise en Place - Juneteenth

2009-06-19T20:22:00.008-05:00

1. Pizza Hut makes a bold (and expensive) move, and for some reason I believe it's a smart one. However, the name still makes me think Ginger vs. Mary Ann...I'm a Mary Ann kinda guy.

2. Want to join me for a 26.2 mile journey? Here's an interactive cool tool from the New York Times for a guide.

3. It's my 2nd favorite golf weekend of the PGA season...U.S. Open. Hummm, why do I get joy watching such talented athletes (yes, they're athletes) struggle? And speaking of interactive (see item #2) check out this interactive golf competition on the Dallas Morning News' website. Amble down the DMN leaderboard to...say 6th place. Then take a wild guess who "Pin High" is.

4. After finally finishing watching the recorded Prefontaine Classic I've reinforced, in my mind, women runners are God's special creation. Especially hot. Vinny...she trains at Mammoth Lake. Can you help a brother out?

Whisky, Tango, Foxtrot - Shoe Salesgirl Edition

2009-06-16T18:45:00.007-05:00

Me being me, and having finished my research, read all the info Nike puts on the internet, read the reviews, selected the color, looked for a cheaper price and I made the decision.

Then I counted my pennies, made a trip to the nearest Coinstar and finally bought a pair of new running shoes. Yeah...you know the ones.

So I get to the shoe shop and a sweet young girl...I'd say about 18 years-old waits on me. I find the shoes, tell her my size, try on the shoes - perfect fit, go to "check-out".

And I say, "oh, by the way, do you have Lace Locks?"

"What are those?" was the reply.

Me = explain

Then it got weird.

This 18 yo, 5'2 youngster who is slightly north of two Ben Franklins recites a verbal dissertation of how "runners" lace and tie their shoes so they don't come untied while running.

And caps it off with "my shoes have never came untied while I'm running."

Well, duh.

Perhaps more training? ...in more ways than one?

White Rock Marathon - clock is ticking as of today

2009-06-15T21:47:00.004-05:00

December 13, 2009...mark it on your calendar, it'll be my third marathon and a landmark for my 5th decade. I expect to complete it much faster than my previous marathons. Three hours and thirty minutes is my goal...perhaps less.

During the middle of June, December seems so far away. But when you realize it's only 24 weeks the pressure increases.

Today's training = easy, breezy...3 miles < 9:15/minute miles. Tomorrow's is a bit tougher...4 mile tempo at 8:00/minute miles....oh, yeah...it'll be in the afternoon heat.

Being a Vegetarian - Week 1 Report

2009-06-14T19:01:00.010-05:00

Okay, I'm not really a vegetarian, but I've spent the last week as a strict vegetarian. (Wine is vegetarian, right?)

It's really not so bad, but I do (occasionally) miss me some meat.

And my objective is not to become some holier-than-thou, you-shouldn't-eat-anything-with-eyes, self-righteous thing-a-ma-bob. I just want to feel right, sleep tight, dream bright and run light.

And I did when I pulled this stunt. So I'm on a mission to find a proper lifetime eating habit to fit me.

I recently read a column in the Saturday Evening Post (which I usually don't read, but only look at it for the pictures) fantasizing an email to Ben Franklin regarding his recommendation to:

“Eat and drink such an exact quantity as the constitution of thy body allows of, in reference to the services of the mind.”

I totally buy it.

I'm not sure where this (changing eating habits) is going (perhaps this blog, too), but my immediate intention is to become mostly a Lacto-ovo-vegetarian with a frequent Pescatarian vibe; what the heck, stir it with a spoonful of Flexitarian.

The point is...I'm giving up the regular consumption of beef, chicken, pork and other traditionally-non-sustainable meats.

At least for a little while. We'll see what happens.